75 days of Celibacy -Summer 2013

Ok. Friday the 21st, the first day of summer, is the day that I began my summer-long stint of celibacy. I am sure that many may wonder why I am doing this. Well, there always comes a time when a man or a woman recognizes that there are some things within that have changed or have “fallen off.” I realize that something about me has significantly changed. I can honestly trace this change in me back to about four years ago. You see. When I lived in Memphis I was pretty close to the “conscious community.” However, not so close that I thought it was ok to commandeer the home of a private resident in one of the nicer parts of Memphis all in the name reparations. No. I was not that damn close. LOL!  I was not even so close that I thought it was cool to sleep with as many of the women in the conscious community as I could because I knew they liked my poetry, my reggae singing, my Marcus Garvey quotes or my long locs (dreds). I was close to the conscious community, but in the sense of the teaching and reading that occurred. I read a lot as result of my association with members of the conscious community.

My sense of spirituality and self discipline were pretty balanced during the years I was associated with the conscious community. I even ate a little better. I was not perfect, but I was pretty consistent. However, after I moved to Dallas a little over four years ago (which was a good geographical and economic move) my focus somewhat changed from that of community activism and African-centricity to that of participating capitalism on a mental and spiritual level. I even stopped wearing my Afrikan Ankh. As a matter of fact, I don’t even know where it is these days.  Don’t get me wrong. I am not saying that chasing a dollar is a bad thing. However, in chasing the dollar, I left some important things behind in my full time participation in capitalism such as self-discipline and spiritual discipline. When these two vital aspects of my personality and way of life began to suffer, I began to suffer and “fall off.”

In my quest to obtain more dollars, my lower half, my lower-spirit became over-active. I have become very lustful of the female flesh, so much that I have allowed it to overtake most of the creative thinking that I normally would have on a daily basis. Recently, I was sitting in my bedroom and looking at a list of things that I want to achieve in my life, hell this year! I realized that if I were to continue on the path that I am currently on, with the lustful behavior, I will not complete these goals this summer or ever in life. I realized that I had allowed myself to become consumed with sexual conquests, which unfortunately made for very little room for pursuing actual important goals. So, for the next 75 days, I will practice celibacy in the holistic sense of the word. I have already begun changing my diet for the better and exercising more each day.

 

Right now, in addition to no sex, (no oral or even masturbation) I run 3 to 5 miles at least four mornings out of the week before work. Next week, I will incorporate swimming and a little more weight lifting into the routine. I have a library of books on mental health, substance abuse/addiction, proper nutrition & diet, history, as well as other important and mentally stimulating topics that have been collecting dust over the past four years that I will finally crack open this summer. Finally, I will be heading to south Dallas this weekend to the Pan-African Book Store to purchase a new Afrikan Ankh to start this thing off right. My Ankh was a big part of me when I lived in Memphis. I know the road that I will be traveling this summer is going to be kind of bumpy because I have really been “showin’ out” these past few years. I will just leave it at that. This summer of holistic celibacy will be like regaining and reclaiming a positive part of my life that I took for granted all in the name of chasing a dollar. I will continue to chase a dollar, but this time not at the expense of my life and my spiritual well being. I know that every ounce of my being will be put to the test this summer because Lord knows it gets hot in Texas. LOL! The Most High also knows that women with nice legs wearing short- shorts along with small tops are like kryptonite to me. Yes, I sweat and I get weak at the very site of a sexy woman in sexy summer wear. However, I think that I will be just fine because I have more important things to occupy my mind.

Happy Father's Day 2013 !!!

I want to take this time to wish a Happy Father's Day to two special men. The first man is Archie Muhammad. Archie Muhammad was a father of seven children when I was growing up in the 1980’s without a father or a father figure in my household. He was the man that first taught my brother and me about not using the word Nigger against Black people as well as taught us both about entrepreneurship. When we were 10 and 11 years old, my brother and I sold candy for Mr. Archie. He supplied the boxes of candy and we received a percentage of every bar or box sold. Needless to say, my brother and I would come home almost every night around 9 or 9:30 pm on a school night with at least 30 to 40 bucks in our pockets. That was a lot for two 11 and 12 year olds in the early 1980's. This income allowed my brother and me to lessen the financial burden on our mother, who at the time was caring for us two boys and our two younger sisters on public assistance. We sold candy for Mr. Archie until we reached the age of 15 and 16 when we both went out on own and began to buy and sell the very same candy, keeping the all of the profits for ourselves.

Mr. Archie genuinely cared about all of the young men he would pick-up from the hoods of North Memphis and South Memphis in his beat-up SUV after school to take us to different parts of Memphis to make some cash from selling candy. Us going to sell candy with Mr. Archie was our after-school program. We were supervised, cared for, and taught valuable lessons about decency, manhood, and how to make money honestly. We even had the pleasure of meeting his wife and family. I have seen Mr. Archie in a long time. I think the next time I go home for a visit, I will look him up and pay him a visit to give him a hug and say thank you for all he did and said when I was a kid growing up. His influence is still with me today.

The next man is my brother, Eric Rivers. My brother is the example what a father is supposed to be today. Talk about making sacrifices for his children (Too many to name in this post). I have watched him make so many sacrifices to make sure that his two biological children with his wife and even the two step sons he inherited when he met and married his wife so many years ago. My brother is not perfect. He has made some mistakes, but he has done a perfect job (in my opinion) at be present and accounted for when it comes to all of his children. It is truly something to behold the process of a present parent, particularly an active father and husband.

 Let’s see. He oldest son, which he helped rear from a very little boy now plays for the San Francisco 49ners. The next the oldest step-son, is entering his third year in college. He has hopes of playing in the NFL in the future. The next son, (his first biological) just graduated from high school a week ago and will be heading off to California to attend college and play football. Damn, it looks like my brother is pretty good at rearing future pro-athletes. I guess he is good at rearing them because playing sports is another issue. LOL! Well, if you count play station and Madden games. Now, my brother’s fourth child (his second biological) my 12 year old niece, is the little scholar. She has already established herself as a lover of school and learning. I expect her to graduate from high school and continue the course of attending college after high school.  Of course, my brother did not accomplish all of this alone, but we are speaking about how amazing fathers are on the established Father’s Day, right?

If I were to ever become a father (biological, step-dad, or even through adoption) I will definitely use some of the notes from my brother’s parenting play book.  So, I want to end my day and this Father’s Day by wishing Brother Archie Muhammad and my brother, Eric, a Happy Father’s Day!