The issues WE are having with Black Love is not a laughing matter, Steve Harvey.

The Steve Harvey best selling book, “Act Like a Lady-Think Like a Man,” has been made into a movie and it will be hitting the theaters on next weekend (April 20th) and I plan to be in a theater seat somewhere that night or maybe on Saturday night with or without a date. When I want to actually hear a movie and gain some understanding, I tend to go alone the first time. Anyway, I read the book about two years or so ago. I plan to re-read it before I go to see the movie. If anyone would like a copy of the entire book, I can email a copy to you as an attachment. Just email me at talktorico@hotmail.com to make the request and I will get it right to you.


When I read the book in its entirety, I was left with the feeling of dejavu. I could have sworn that I had heard the messages in his book before, but with an actual spiritual and cultural connection to them. Then it hit me. Ahh! I had already been exposed knowledge-wise to the reasons why not only Black men and Black women, but the Black family in general has been torn apart and can’t seem to get it back together in this day and time. I remember reading the books by Anthony Browder, Dr. Francess Cress Welsing, Del Jones, Dr. Naim Akbar, Haki Madubuti, Dr. Ben Jochannan, Drs. Nathan and Julia Hare, Amos Wilson, Brother Neely Fuller, Dr. Joy Leary, The Slave Narratives, and even the Willie Lynch Letter. I have even been exposed to lectures by, Dr. Julia Hare, Dr. Joy Leary, Dr. Francess Cress-Welsing, Min. Louis Farrakhan, Ashra Kwesi , Dr. Raymond Winbush, Dr. Ben, and the list goes on and on.

Steve Harvey, a comedian, did not teach me anything that I did not already know about Black relationships and why WE as black people can’t seem to get it together. However, by him (not being) any of the great scholars of Afrikan/Afrikan-American culture and racism/white supremacy that I have been exposed to, he was able to get his message to the masses of our people with his comedic version of why so many Black women today (who say that they want to be in a committed relationship with a Black man) can’t seem to attract a Black man that wants to be committed to them personally and/or individually. I also walked away from the book knowing full well that even though Steve Harvey “broke it down” to the lowest common denominator, a lot of these so-called independent Black women still won’t get it. Simply put, too many Black women today think and act like men and less than a lady. They are too hardheaded and ego-driven like so many men today.

Personally, I have never met an actual good Black woman who does not already have a good Black man or is not already married to a good Black man. Everybody else must be claiming to be good Black women because it must be popular or designer to refer or describe one’s self as such. Anyway, after we have finished laughing next weekend about our obvious failure to communicate what we want in a relationship and how unrealistic we can be when we place certain expectations on others in order for them to be the perfect mate, maybe then we will go back to the days of when our grandparents dated, got married and raised healthy loving families. Maybe if more Black women today would stop listening to comedians and man-hating Black authors of biased relationship books and listen more to Afrikan scholars like Dr. Julia Hare, Dr. Joy Leary, Dr. Francess Cress Welsing, and Dr. Ben, maybe you will actually learn something not only about what makes Black men tick, but also learn something about yourselves as Black women. Hey, if this suggestion is ‘too black’ or ‘too deep’ for some of you, then how about asking your grandmother how she kept your grandfather for 40 years by “Thinking and Acting Like a WOMAN!”


After this weekend we should all make a vow not to allow or our racial struggles to be made into joke, by way of a bestselling book, news documentary on the major television networks and a movie at the theaters. After the movie next weekend, I will be open to any and all invitations to have a civilized discussion with men’s groups, women’s groups, singles’ groups, or combined groups in the Dallas/Fort Worth area. If your group is outside of the DFW area, we can talk about that too. Our relationships and/or lack thereof are no laughing matter.