Yesterday, I was having a late lunch at Wendy’s with one of my younger cousins, Arrias. We were discussing abortion and teenage pregnancy and how we both did not seem to have a problem with it in regards to children being created by silly teenagers and adults who are having sex just for the fun of it or while under the influence of drugs/alcohol. This usually means that a child will be brought here to planet earth to parents or a parent who is uncertain or just really had no plans on creating a life, but who were just enjoying the act of having sex. Also, I shared with my cousin a scenario of a child being created by two people who don’t really like each but were both driven by lust. Hell, in some cases the two people actually hate each other, but were both “just doing some” because sex does feel good and it serves as a pretty good and most of the times, welcomed escape from the norm for a while. Maybe this is why so many poor people have such a large number of children.
However, during our conversation, the subject of God was brought into the conversation. The subject of God and the act of abortion in the same sentence has always pissed me off. My said, “You know, Rico. People often use God as a reason for not getting an abortion when it is obvious that an abortion is in order.” I was like, “Man, that it is trip.” I say this because I have always been turned off by the hypocrisy of people when it comes to God, Jesus, and the whole religion bit whenever it is convenient for whatever it is I really want to do. I often hear people say, “I can’t be for abortion because it is murder and it is against God’s word.” Guess what. Fornication (sex outside of marriage) is also reportedly against God’s alleged word, but people do it all the time.
Here is my position, I am pro-life. I am pro-abortion. I am mainly pro-CHILD! You see as a long time social worker and mental health professional, I look at the impact of what unplanned child creation can have on a child. If you a woman is impregnated by a man that she does not love or she does not even like, those hateful feelings are a part of her body. Those emotions be they anger, regret, hate do travel to the fetus that she is carrying. If she is depressed feeling abandoned because the sperm donor has left already even before the child is even born, those feelings and emotions are felt by the fetus as it continues to grow. So, when two people who don’t like each other and may even hate each just have sex for the sake of “doing something” and a child is unfortunately created during this process, the child will be born with this overwhelming feeling of rejection. I don’t that this is fair. I don’t think that it is fair that a child be forced to be brought here under these conditions and worse because you all of a sudden remembered what God’s word is when it comes to abortion. How come you did not have God’s word in mind when you had unprotected sex? I am just saying. Many children grow up with this feeling that they just can’t explain, but they know it’s real when they are born out a situation where the two people who created them really did not mean for it to happen. People often refer to these pregnancies and ultimate births as a mistake.
If you ever asked a single woman or a teenaged female, “So, what are your plans for the baby that you are carrying?” and she replies, “I don’t know.” Red flag! If you ever asked, “Hey, do you want to keep it?” and she replies, “I don’t know, but I can’t get an abortion because it’s murder and against God’s word.” Red flag! If you ever asked, “Hey what’s up with you and the father?”and she replies, “Him. He ain’t shit! I can’t stand him! We are not together!” Big RED Flag! Why would anyone bring a child here that they really don’t want? Please, don’t give that song and dance about adoption. Yeah. It’s an option, but I still think that it is unfair to the child. During the closing of the conversation, I made the statement, “If you really love God so much you would be more particular about creation.” This statement just came out of no-where. Well not really for me. It came from an over-standing of God, human behavior and mental health. This statement came from a place of understanding what that rejection feels like when created by two teenagers who no intentions of creating me but had sex “just to be doing something.” It came from a place of having to unknowingly live with that sense of feeling rejected all of my life until recently realized what that feeling was that has held me back from some many of life’s opportunities with marriage and parenthood included.
When my biological father rejected me to my face in 2008, the original rejection from the time of conception 40 years earlier had come full circle. My mother admitted to me recently that she hated him and that he did not care for her, they were just “doing something.” I hated the fact that I had to live with their poor and wreckless decision up until finding out the truth behind my conception. Today, with this understanding, I can now move forward and begin to claim what I had denied myself for years out of what I thought was just plain ole fear, but was actually an overwhelming sense of fear of being rejected because of the first two people who rejected me, my parents. My mother was a teen-aged mother overwhelmed by fear, shame, guilt, and regret. She hated her sperm donor and unbeknownst to her, all of those feelings where passed down to me in the womb, which obviously sent the messages of an unwanted pregnancy to an unsuspecting fetus.
So, please do the unborn child a favor. If you don’t want it, don’t have it! Don’t use God as an excuse to cover up a poor choice of a sperm donor. Don’t use God as an excuse because you don’t want people to “talk about you” for having not having it. If you love God so much, please respect the rights of the unborn. Plan for a child with a man who loves you, a man who loves God, a man who has a job, a car, his own home, an education, a clean criminal record, and who is standing right in front of you, your family and God saying, “I do.”
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