I think Single/ Never Married women should not be awarded child support by a court of law when she nor the father EVER signed a legal document that would support the legal reasoning behind the awarding of such payments. What I mean by supportive and legal documents are: A marriage license that was signed by both parties or a birth certificate signed by both parties after a DNA test has proven that he is the father. Hell, I would even accept a recorded verbal agreement between the two single people who decide to lay down in moment of lust and have unprotected sex. Just because it is a moral thing to do which is a man stepping up to the plate to take care of the child he helped to create, it should not be allowed to be turned into a LEGAL matter if no supportive legal documents were ever signed. I figure if this single woman was woman enough to get him sleep with her, she should be woman enough to get this same single man to help her support the baby that she gave him permission to place inside of her. Nooooo. This sounds too much like right when the female is being called upon to not only take responsible for her actions, but also be charged with protecting her own body.
Let me say this. Morally, I think it is horrendous for ANY MAN to just walk away from a child he helped to create. However, on the other hand, I don't think that he should be held liable legally and monetarily for the WOMAN's CHOICE to ALLOW HIM to IMPREGNATE her without being a woman and getting the necessary legal paperwork signed. Since she gave him PERMISSION to go up in her without a condom, she should woman up and be prepared to go with the consequences of her actions and NOT CRY ABOUT HER CHOICE to a court of law. The court of law needs to stay out of single people's business and bedrooms. Again this sounds too much like right when the court system makes a profit off of child support payments being paid out by the man and in some cases the woman. This to me is gender bias on the deepest level. Maybe some of this behavior can be stopped if the female, who happens to be all in love with Jesus Christ and who professes to be the follower of God's word, would just keep God's word in mind when deciding to have sex out of wedlock with a man who is not her husband. I J S. :)
Before I am asked, "Rico, what about the man?" Well, what about him? He can only do what he is ALLOWED to do. Get it? Legally, a single man should not be harassed by the courts for money that is not legally due to a single woman or a child that she had out of wedlock or shall I say without having any legal documentation in place to justify such payments.
4 comments:
After speaking with you on Andy's show I have to say I am truly mindblown. You gave no facts to back up your point, you were rude and disrespectful to everyone who didn't agree with you, except Andy but only because he remained neutral as a commentator should, and it makes me nervous that you are a social worker making decisions about people's children when you espouse these views. It's also disturbing that as a self-proclaimed "conscious black man" that you would encourage the notion that men should not be personally accountable and wear a condom in the first place and take care of their responsibilities if they end up creating a child. Just because a woman makes a poor decision in letting you sleep with her without a condom doesn't excuse you from your own decision making process. You still have the choice to put a condom on. Two wrongs don't make a right. Forget babies - let's talk HIV in the black community. Let's talk about those facts and figures. As a "conscious black man" with a platform and a voice, and in a position to be a role model to young black males you should be encouraging accountability, consequences and responsibility rather than "Hey...if she lets you, then dive right on in bareback and walk away if she gets pregnant!" I personally believe that you shouldn't lay down with anyone that a)you wouldn't want to call your husband/wife and b)that you would regret having a child with. And, yes, women have a role to play in this as well, i.e., making more careful decisions about who they sleep with and how long they've known each other before they sleep together. Your sense of responsibility, or lack thereof, are a big part of what's wrong with society today. I give zero credibility to anything that you write or that comes out of your mouth.
Hey, Jana. Thank you for writing. Thank for you calling into the show tonight as well. Your thoughts do matter. It lends to my credibility that you took time out to reach out to me twice in one night. BE sweet. :)
I totally disagree with you, Rico. First of all, you're discriminating against single/never married woman by saying "they should not be awarded child support payments by a court of law simply because they are "Not Married" and/ or don't have signed agreement from the father, which states he gave permission to allow the woman to be impregnated by him". So, are you saying it's ok if "Married women" be awarded child support because they are married? If so, how do you think that will resonate with the CHILD??? How would you feel if your mom had you out of wedlock and your father chose not to have anything to do with you simply because of what you believe.Child support payments are needed by the parents, Father or Mother to provide for the child they brought into the world. Being Single or married shouldn't have anything to do with it! The Father made that his decision when he decided to have UNPROTECED sex with the mother. Also, no woman, SINGLE or MARRIED should be treated any differently just because she chose to have a child out of wedlock. That's what God created us to do.
Hello Lisa S.
Thank you for your thoughts. It appears that I may have stepped on a toe or two with my article suggesting that single women take responsibilty for their choices, their bodies. Thank you for reading. :) Here a thought. Do you think single never married women would be so quick to allow men who are not their husbands to impregnant them if state and federal government did not give them hand outs as rewards for making poor life choices? Let me help you. No. As a matter of fact, these same women would immediately start taking birth control more seriously and out of wedlock births in the black community would cease over night because there would be no more monetary kickbacks.
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