All I did was ask a question

You know as one who has worked in mental health in various capacities since 1996, I am always questioning our mental health as a people. I am always seemingly asking “the wrong questions” about society, race, and the black community, which in turn has caused people (many in my race) to react in aggressive and sadly, in unforgiving ways. My intent has never and will never be to cause harm or pain. My intent has always been to seek clarity for the sake of my own mental health stability as well as to get an understanding to what mental state our people are in even in 2012. I remember asking a question of one of my teachers back in high school who was also the coordinator of our year book staff. I went to Frayser High School from 1986 to 1988 which was becoming a racially mixed high school at the time because before then, the school was mainly white. I asked Miss Savare who was a very light-skinned sista with very dark hair and dark eyes. She was cute and had this sexy southern accent. I thought she was Creole or something. Anyway, one day in the 10 th or 11th grade after having gone through one of the completed year books, I asked Miss Savare, “How come even though our high school is evenly mixed, (45 percent Black, 50 percent white, and 5 percent others) the pages in the yearbook have over 90 percent pictures of white students in them?’ She looked at me (with her face having turned a little red) and responded, “Marico, if you don’t like how the year book looks, then join the year book staff!”


Of course, I was like, “Dang, she did not have to get all snappy.” However she did make a good suggestion. Her suggestion now reminds me of what so many people have said and still say today, “You have to become a part of “the system” to make changes from within.” So, I joined the yearbook staff with the intent to make a difference. I got my camera, my roll of film, and I was on my way to make a change in the way the yearbook looked. Well, I took a lot of pictures of black students and some whites, but mainly Black students. I turned in my roll to be developed and to be added to the next year book. Well, when I got the new year book only three of my pictures of Black students made the yearbook and the book was again 90 percent white. This is when I learned that the philosophy becoming a part of the system to make changes was a load of crap. Hell, we have had Black politicians (elected and appointed) and things still have remained the same for Black people in this country. Justice is still fleeting and economic equality still eludes us. Yes, a small few have squeezed through a crack but that’s it.



Anyway, back to me seemingly asking the wrong questions. When I got college, I seemed to ask the wrong questions a lot. I could not help it. There were a lot of things that I was curious about. Me asking questions about people, groups and people’s beliefs back in college caused a lot of anger in a lot of people back then. I was often curious about what would cause such a reaction. Whenever I questioned the validity of religion in our community, I would really get it. LOL!! Today, I try not to ask so many specific questions in our community because I have learned that there is much work to be done. I still have these curiosities about what makes us tick the way we do, but I have learned to keep certain questions to myself or only share them with my very small group of friends who are just as curious as I am about the mental health state of Black people. Believe or not. I have never asked these certain questions to create controversy or to create enemies out of people I never really knew in the first place.



In my mind, I always thought that I was sharing what I had learned from reading and getting a true understanding about how things work in this reality. Well, I have been told and shown loudly and clearly that my brand of sharing does not help in the movement for progress and independence. So, this is why for the past four years I have been mainly just doing the work that is needed and not asking so many questions. I guess I don’t have any more questions really. I have asked so many questions that I all need to be doing now is just taking the answers that I have been given and accepting them as the peoples’ truth and move on. It has been hard just moving on, but it does make life a little easier when you are able to focus more on yourself and just let others “do them.” I no longer have to question the mental health of Black people today, I got it. I now understand.


My job now is to get more involved and become even more a part of the solution. My contribution to the stabilization of the mental health of Black people is to continue doing my part as a counselor and social worker in the healing of hurt feelings, trauma, anger, depression, low-self esteem, and disappointment in our men. Ladies, I am saying our men because I don’t want to see another woman being hurt from unknowingly connecting with a hurt man.

“The Ideal Woman for me to date and possibly marry someday” By Rico Rivers

This list of was put together as a result of knowing exactly what I want in a permanent mate and a wife. First, please allow me to say this. I think that all women are beautiful the way they in which they were created by God. However, I do have a preference for the certain type of woman that I would like to someday be living in the same house with and/or sharing the same bed with exclusively and permanently. This is not a search for a perfect woman. I repeat. This is not a search for a perfect woman. This woman does not exist. However, the perfect woman for me is definitely out there somewhere.

This is the description of what we all possess, which is called a preference. However, in the meantime, as a single man out here casually and safely dating, the only preference or preferences that I have is for the Black woman to not be too old, not be out of my weight range of preference or my physical body type of preference, Oh yeah, and not have a nasty and negative attitude.


Below is a compiled list of my preference (s) for a permanent mate or wife and not a casual dating partner or friend with benefits.


Race: Black/Afrikan/Afrikan-American- However, if she is mixed with other ethnicities such as Mexican, Puerto Rican, Asian, Dominican, etc. She is cool too as long as she is brown or dark and speaks English very well.


Height: 4’11 to 5’5


Weight: 115-130 (This is the weight I prefer before she has had children)


Age: 32-36 years old and NO CHILDREN! I might make an acception for one small child. The father has to be dead, serving a life sentence in jail, or just be totally out of the picture. No time for baby daddy drama.

Body Type: SLIM, SLENDER, MEDIUM and PETITE, but with a toned, Curvy/Athletic build; Flat stomach (six pack or just plain flat) shapely legs, Apple-Bottom Butt (no flat boodie, please!) No stretch marks on the stomach or scars all over the legs and face. I like bow-legged or straight legged. No knocked knees or sleuth feet please!!

Skin Tone: Smooth Chocolate, Fudge, Pitch or Puff of Smoke (She can be of mixed ethnic heritage just as long as she is brown or darker (see preferred skin-tones above)

Hair Type: Natural! No Chemical Relaxers! (Twists, locs, braids, or naturally curly/wavy hair). Hair color must be naturally brown or coal black. No hair coloring! This includes tints and high-lights! However, I am open to highlights within normal reason.

Skin Type: Little or no make-up (naturally beautiful)


Eye Color: Brown or darker (No color contacts). However, if she is BORN with a different eye color, it is okay.


Dress/Appearance: Casual, but not boring- (lots of flava). Sexy, but not slutty. Elegant, but not stuffy.

Hygiene: Nice smile, clear eyes (not blood shot). Bathes regularly and wears nice smelling deodorants, nice smelling perfumes and soft scented oils.


Body Art: ABSOLUTELY NO TATTOOS! Dark skinned people have no business wearing tattoos. You can’t see them anyway. Tats on dark skinned people tend to look like dark smudges. Piercing in ears only! However, I would make an exception with a nipple piercings, navel piercing, and a small, cute nose piercing


Education: Have at least a Bachelors degree. Of course, higher degrees are cool too. A woman who has read books that speaks on the plight of Afrikan Americans in this country. She is also very aware of what Racism/White Supremacy is and its purpose or agenda.


Employment: Makes at least $30,000 a year. More per year is cool too. Even if she made more money than me, I am fine with that. I am not intimidated by a woman that makes more money than me. However, don’t annoy me with this should you do make more than I do.


Personality/Attitude: Down to earth, but talkative. Open-minded. Good sense of humor, but not goofy. Must be tolerant of others, including me, but not a push-over. A take charge woman, but not a control freak. I already have a mother. I don’t need another one. I love a woman that shows affection (even in public) towards her man.

Character: Honesty, Dignity and Integrity.

She has to be a motivator. She believes in sticking by her man through thick and thin. However, I don’t expect her to stay around if I should ever cheat on her, which is not a part of my character anyway. I won’t stay around if she cheats on me. She has to be a considerate person and not a selfish, spoiled, little girl. Non-Materialist.

Beliefs: Non-Christian!!!! Non-Religious!!! At All!!!
A Spiritualist, but not a fanatic about it! (Afrikan-Centered is a plus!)

Sexuality: I need her to be straight, not gay or bi-sexual or bi-curious. I want her to be open and very secure in her “straight” sexuality. I need her to enjoy sex just as much as I do, if not more. It’s going down!!!

Sexuality Continued: Also, she has to have not dated, kissed or had sex/sexual relations of any kind with any EUROPEAN! (Spaniard, Italian, Portuguese, German, Jew-ish or a WASP –White Anglo Saxon Protestant). In other words, No white man, PERIOD!! I am firm believer in whoever you “lay down with” who you share their philosophy.



Most Importantly: I would like this Black woman to be a woman that loves, respects, and adores her father and BLACK MEN!! Especially those of us Black men who have been labeled militants because we don’t have a problem with speaking our minds and standing up for what is right when it comes to Black people and race.


Diet/Exercise: I would like for this ideal woman be pork free as well as red meat (Beef) free. Since, I presently eat turkey, chicken, and some fish; I don’t have a problem with her eating these foods. However, I am on a vegetarian path and I would prefer that she be on the same path as well. At least be open to the idea. Also, I would prefer that she also be dairy free. I would love for my ideal woman to take her physical health/ and emotional health seriously. I love for her to have an ACTIVE gym membership or have her own workout regime that she does at home. It would be great if she loves to run because I love to run.


Politically: It would be nice if she were an independent.


Social Affiliation: I prefer her not to be a member of any social (so-called black Greek) organizations. This includes any other Boule’(boo-lay) organizations such as, the Links, Jack N Jill, etc. However, I would not hold it against her as long as she is Afrikan-Centered in her thinking and her beliefs.


One more small thing: She has to be a brown or dark-skinned female that does not have issues with being brown or dark-skinned. She has to be a brown or dark-skinned female that is attracted to brown and dark-skinned men. Finally, she is not afraid to give birth to brown or dark-skinned babies with this brown or dark-skinned man.

The 2012 Summer Olympics: Highs and Lows

I have not been an avid viewer of the Olympic Games since I was little and people like Carl Lewis, Mary Lou Retton, and Greg Louganis were the champions America was cheering for during the summer games of 1984 and 1988. I guess since I was never a huge fan of sports growing up, the Olympic Games just kind of fell by the wayside on my list of things that I found to be interesting over the years. However, I will admit this one fact. I did, however, sneak a peek at the summer games over the years whenever I just happened to walk past a television at home or wherever I was when track and field was on and the women’s volley ball team was going for the gold. I did cheer for Carl Lewis. I cheered for Gale Devers, and I lusted and I cheered “at the same damn time” whenever Florence Griffith- Joyner (Flo-Jo) was getting ready to do her historic thing in the track and field completion. I would not be keeping it real, it I did not admit that I had a huge crush on Mary Lou Retton back then. She was really cute and she had “the smile” that warmed America’s heart including mine. She also killed the competition in the gymnastics portion of the games.


That same magic, charisma and “that smile” would be reborn in the spirit and presence of OUR very own Gabriel Douglas in the 2012 Olympic Games. I cheered for her as often as I get in front of my television set at home, which was almost nightly. This year’s summer games kind of caught me off guard because I had no intentions of watching the games, but then, I heard some guys talking about the Brazilian women’s volley ball team. That struck a chord in me. I found myself trying to catch one of the matches so I can get in on the excitement. Well, in the process of trying to catch the women’s volley ball matches, I was hit with an explosion called Shelly Ann Fraser Pryce and the rest of the women’s track and field. Carmelita Jeter also had me distracted for most of the games, but I did regain focus at some point so that I could realize who else was in those races competing with her and Shelly Ann Fraser Pryce.

I became hooked on this year’s Olympics by way of women’s track and field, women’s indoor volley ball, and of course, gymnastic because little Gabby was kicking butt. If she was not competing, I did not watch the gymnastics competition. I also got a chance to check out the men’s track and field. The 34 year old brother, from the Dominican Republic, Felix Sanchez killed them in the 400 meters hurdles. He has won the only two gold medals the Caribbean island country has in all. Talk about representing for one’s country. Then, you have Usain Bolt of Jamaica who went on track and field greatness with his record breaking all around performance in track and field. Now, if he could just shut his mouth up about Carl Lewis, I can still respect him as an athlete who did his thing at this year’s Olympics.


Finally, I want to end this article by touching on the “hair issue” that created a firestorm of controversy in the black community and even all over the world. There were some tweets sent out concerning gold medal winning Olympian, Gabriel Douglas about the “look” or the “status” of her hair during the competition. The issue that Black women and Black men have with OUR hair is nothing new. Hell, I was shocked that there were no comments tweeted about her having chocolate skin. I guess there may actually be some growth somewhere in our community and in the world. I cannot focus on the obvious comments about Gabriel Douglas’s hair supposedly not being very representative of Black people in the Olympics without mentioning a little history first. Black hair in its original form (the hair that God gave us) has always been a political issue as well as being a source that drew rage, fear, and even envy from our white oppressors.

History has taught me that when the first group of captured Afrikans was brought to the Americas to be placed in chattel slavery, they were stripped naked and shaved bald. This was done to add credence to the lies and myths that Afrikans were uncivilized savages who ran around the continent naked and acted like wild animals. The next 300 years would be spent convincing the enslaved Afrikans that nothing about them had any significance. Everything was ugly and was a curse from the god they force fed the enslaved Afrikans. They were made to feel badly about having full lips, wide noses, dark skin, large hips, big butts, and yes, their natural hair. Of course, as the Africans were becoming convinced that their bodies were ugly and cursed, the plantation owners and overseers perform every lustful, degenerate, degrading sexual act that he could think of on the capture women and the captured men. Yes. Homosexuality has a root on the old slave plantations in America.

Anyway, after 300 years of this torture and cruelty, this country puts the so-called newly freed Afrikans through 100 more years of legalized discrimination and segregation that came to be known as JIM CROW laws of the south. The laws placed even more psychological trauma on the minds of Blacks in this country. We were even convinced that we did not look right unless we looked white. However, I must remind everybody that America is south of Canada. I know that some people tend to only want to believe that only the southern part the of the United States mistreated Blacks. This is not true. The entire country mistreated blacks. This is why most of the slaves who escaped to freedom fled to Canada, not Chicago. Now, during this time, the self-hatred training has set in pretty good. We are now on “automatic self hatred.”

Here we are in 2012 with that same self hatred that was forced on us by our former enslaver and oppressor. The response to Gabby’s hair is a direct result of this psychological training that has yet to be corrected and treated. Until we clinically and educationally treat this psychological trauma and undo this 400 year mental training (spell), we will continue to “act out” and “act up” with each other and in our communities. I know that many of us in the Black community have tried other remedies to get rid of the symptoms of slavery, such as denial, pleading ignorance, interracial marriages, classism, going along to get along, and even Jesus Christ. However, until we sit down and deal with root cause of OUR issues with ourselves, we will continue to indirectly shit on great moments such as Gabriel Douglas making history at the 2012 summer Olympics all because her hair was not “straight” enough to represent black people in the Olympic completion.

For all those who actually felt this way, shame on you. When a person is working out or competing in a sport, the body sweats, including the scalp. Whenever I go to the gym, I rarely see Black women there. I see women of all other races and ethnicities up in there on the treadmill, the stair master, hitting the weights, swimming, and doing aerobics. However, when I go out to restaurants, bars, and nightclubs where food and liquor are served, I see Black women all over the place. I am still trying to figure out when it was the last time I saw a Black woman where tennis shoes. Anyway, congratulations to Gabriel Douglas, Carmelita Jeter, Shelly Ann Fraser-Pryce, Felix Sanchez, Usain Bolt, and of course, I can’t leave out Michael Phelps for making history as having won the most medals at the Olympics.

“Does Child Sexual Abuse Mean Anything to Most Black People?”

Child rape, child molestation, and child sexual abuse...However you want to say it is REAL. It happens in a lot of families. It happens to children of all racial and ethnic backgrounds. As a matter of fact, according to the website,www. childhelp.org, “Every year 3.3 million reports of child abuse are made in the United States involving 6 million children; that’s because reports can include multiple children.” However, it seems that this issue is one that is most often swept under the rug in this country. The victim is often vilified by family members, members of their immediate community and even people in society that don’t even know them personally when he or she finally breaks the silence about abuse that has happened to them.

I am bringing this up because in the Black community, many of us seem to either bury our heads in the sand or outwardly attack the victim of child rape or sexual abuse when the person being accused is a celebrity we like. Yeah. I know. We are not the only ones who react this way. Celebrity and Jewish film director, Woody Allen, is a child rapist who was protected and forgiven by the white and Jewish community when ex-wife Mia Farrow broke her silence about him molesting their then adopted underage Asian daughter Soon Ye some years back. This sicko even went so far as to mary his child victim when she became of legal age. Next, there was French director, Roman Polanski. He allegedly drugged and raped an under aged teen girl at his home back in the 1970’s. When the silence was broken and his ass was about to face rape charges that would have sent him to jail for a long time, he fled the country. While in exile, he still received Oscar awards from the white film academy for directing.

In the Black community, many of us gave R. Kelly a major pass after he raped and pissed on a 13 year old black girl on a home produced video/movie because we like the way he sings and we enjoy the booty-shaking music he produces. During the R. Kelly trial and even after his very suspicious and questionable aquittal, Black people even went so far as to declare war on anyone, including the underage girl for pointing a verbal or physical finger of guilt and shame at the RnB singing child rapist. Now, for the past couple of years or so, former member of the RnB singing and dance group B2K, Raz B. has been breaking his silence on the sexual abuse he and fellow members of his old group were force to endure when they were little dudes in the group back in the day. He named his child rapist, Chris Stokes, and also pointed out a few other people who either went along in silence with what was going on or who actually participated in the raping and molesting of him as well as other former group members.

He is the only one speaking out. The other former B2K members members have chosen to keep quiet.  It has been reported in the news recently that RazB is coming out with a tell-all book and he is allegedly naming names of those who are gay in the industry, but hiding. Now, here is the deal. Raz B. may or may not be telling the truth about what happened to him. I am inclined to believe him. The music industry has always been reported as being a haven for sexual misconduct and sexual manipulation of artists by executives. Instead of giving Raz B the benefit of the doubt, many in the Black community have chosen to bury either their heads in the sand or outwardly attack him for stepping forward and breaking the silence with hopes of breaking the cycle of sexual abuse in the music industry. What is it? Why won’t WE stand with the victims when this happens? Why don’t many of us offer support and refuse when a child is raped by a celebrity? Are many of so star struck and have this hunger for fame and riches ourselves that we view people like Raz B. and the young lady in R. Kelly video as possible dream killers?

It leads one to believe that if we are so quick to jump and attack the victim when he or she accuses a celebrity or a rich person of being a child sexual predator, many in the Black community have even ignored the cries of child victims of sexual abuse in our very own households. We have really got to do better.

The Greatest Pain I Ever Felt (Part I)

The greatest pain I had ever felt occurred 20 years ago while I was a student at Grambling State University. I remember I was working nights, after class, at the university’s health center at night in the cleaning department as a participant in the university’s work study program to earn extra money to pay for food and other living expenses. I liked working there because when I would I would go on breaks, I would casually slip into one of the nurse’s offices and talk on the phone while my supervisor would be in the break room eating and talking with the nurses who were working the night shift. Well, this particular night, I discovered that I could make long distance phone calls courtesy of the health center. The first person I called was my favorite aunt in Dallas, Patricia. We started our conversation off talking about college and how everything was going for me. I asked about my cousins and other family members who also lived there in Dallas.



Then, we began to talk about the birth of my first niece, Sheila, by my younger sister, Tisha. I made the comment, “Aunt Pat, Sheila looks just like Tisha when she was a little girl.” “She sure does.” my aunt responded. My aunt went to something that would change my life forever. “You know, Rico, Sheila looks just like her mother the same way you looked like your father, Carl.” I paused for a moment. I suddenly felt this overwhelming sense of fear take control of my body. I cautiously asked, “Aunt Pat, don’t you mean Terry?” “Aunt, Pat, My father’s name is Terry.” At that very moment, I heard a jerk in her voice that I will never forget. It sounded as if she had been surprised by something or she had let something slip out of her mouth that had been a deep secret up until then. She did not even bother with trying to correct herself. She just came out with it. “Boy, your mother hasn’t told you yet?” She asked. I said, “No.” “Told me what?” Your mother hasn’t told that Carl Jackson is really your father and not Terry Richard?” I told her that this was the very first time I had heard this news. Needless to say our pleasant conversation had turned sour.


We attempted to carry on the conversation, but I just couldn’t. I believed at that time, she thought she had to continue to talk so I would not feel bad about her blurting out such a revelation the way she did, therefore attempting to explain the situation as much as she could. In my mind, she had said enough for one night. I let her off the hook by telling her that I was about to get off from work and I had to go. Before I hung up the phone, I had to ask her how this Carl Jackson person looked. She responded very quickly, but sensitively, Rico, go and take a look in the mirror. With that being said, we hung up. I immediately called my mother to get some answers because I was both hurt and curious the same time.


I immediately called my mother and told her what my aunt Pat had told me. Her response to what I told her pissed me off at the time because it seemed that all she was concerned about was her and her precious secret that got out. I told her that my aunt Pat had let it slip out that Terry wasn’t my biological father and instead a Carl Jackson gets the cigar. She angrily responded, “ Pat talks too damn much!” “She tells every damn thing!” She went on to rant and rave about how little the relationship meant to her when they dated the very short time all those years ago when they were teenagers. “There was nothing between us!” “I didn’t even like him!” “I don’t know what I was thinking!” “It was just something that happened and it was over!” “When I met Terry, Carl was not in the picture!” “I was already pregnant with you when I met Terry and he took care of you!” I interrupted her ranting and raving about herself to tell her that I was coming home the next day because I was not up to going to class the rest of the week.


We said our good-byes and hung up. I packed my books and left work early that night. I walked half way home in a daze. I was in total shock. I could not believe what had just happened to me. Here I am, twenty-two years old, and just now finding out that the man whom I was led to believe by my mother and the rest of my family to be my biological father, really wasn’t my biological father. I felt betrayed. I felt stupid. I felt alone. I felt a sense of not having an identity. I was angry at my mother for keeping this information away from me for what I perceived as selfish reasons. I felt a big gap opening up inside of me. Up until age twenty-two, I thought Terry Richard was my biological father. Trust. He was most certainly never a father to me growing up because I never saw him that often. I never really liked him because I had nothing in common with him. He was just the only connection I had as far as knowing who my father was. I had a sense of identity. I was content with the belief or the story that he was my father and I had even adjusted my life to this thinking. Now, that would all change. I wanted to know more about this Carl Jackson.


I remember walking across the campus on my way to the little trailer home that I rented at the time which was walking distance from campus still in a complete daze. I don’t think I noticed the other students on campus or even cars for that matter as I made my way across the yard. Suddenly, my daze was broken by the horn on a friend’s truck (Patrick Cooper) who offered me a ride home. When I hopped into the truck, I tried to act natural as if nothing was wrong. He asked me, “Wassup, man?” and I responded in what I thought was a calm way, “Nothing much.” He asked me if something was wrong and I just went into this stare, almost into a zone like stare. I began to speak slowly about my very recent experience with finding out about my real father. I guess I wasn’t quite ready to discuss it with anyone because the more I explained the sadder I became. I talked non-stop all the way home. While explaining my story, I felt myself beginning to breakdown in tears. I was able to hold them back until we pulled up into my driveway.


The tears came streaming down my face as I made my way out of the truck. “Take it easy man!” Patrick yelled out as I made my up to the front door of my trailer. I looked back with tears rolling down my face and responded in this hurt and quivering voice, “Okay, man! I will see you later!” I walked into my apartment and went directly to my bedroom and collapsed on the bed. I cried until I had no more crying left in me. I remember yelling, screaming, “How could this happen to me?” “Why me!?” That was one long, painful night of tears.

Why are so many Religious Blacks so gullible? So what if gays want to get married!?

Ok. The President ‘came out’ last week and publicly supported gays having the right to marry. Who cares? Newsweek Magazine even disrespectfully (in my opinion) plastered a picture of the so-called first Black President wearing a gay (rainbow colored halo) with a caption that reads “The first gay president.” The President giving a politically motivated supportive speech last week did not change any situations in my life. In case you all did not know, Obama is running for re-election in November. The Republican conservatives and any and all anti-Obama individuals and groups are hard at work to make sure that he does not get re-elected. The President ‘coming out’ in support of gay marriages seems to have done exactly what the Obama haters wanted to be done, which was to create an emotional debate in his black voting base. I used the word emotional because the Pew Foundation on Religion reports that Black people are the most religious group in this country, with Hispanics being not too far behind and whites in dead last. This says a lot about our mental health status as a race. The right-winged conservatives assume that Black voting is usually based on emotional moods or emotional status during an election season. Therefore, this style of voting is usually void of any sense of intelligence when dealing with politics and  even race.


Religion has almost always been used (ever since the very first Afrikans were kidnapped and brought over here to America for slavery purposes) as one of the main tools of manipulating Black people, therefore, maintaining the ability to control and entire race of people with a damn scripture that supposedly came from some Jesus figure or from some god. Now, you have these Negro preachers all on television challenging and even condemning the President for his supportive statement of gay marriages, citing biblical reasons for their dismay. Negros, please! Get off the gas! Let’s go back into history for a moment. Let’s go back to the slave plantation where the Negro preacher was actually created. Look. The black preacher is more of a danger to the Black community than the KKK, Nazi skin heads, and even a neighborhood gang. He or she is even more of a sell-out than those Blacks who played a part in the murders of Dr. Martin Luther King and Malcolm X.


The Negro preacher is a hired hand for white racism/white supremacy. Meaning, he/she ain’t worth a damn to us. The Black preacher was selected and groomed to be a voice for the slave owner’s plantation agenda. NO BLACK PREACHER HAS EVER BEEN “CALLED” TO PREACH BY GOD! This is a longtime myth that so many black people have been passing down from generation to generation.


On the slave plantation, the Negro preacher was given the slave owner’s version of the Bible on to further the mental initiation of servitude and obedience to the massa. His job was to drive home the point to the slaves who attended church services that ole massa and the conditions on the plantation were not so bad and besides they were all going to get a reward in heaven when they died for all of the physical and mental suffering they were put through while here on earth. Sadly, many too many of us still believe this old hype.


He was a trusted slave that pledged his allegiance to the plantation and its owner. In return for his allegiance, the trusted preacher on the plantation was given the better of the scraps of food from old massa’s table while the other Afrikans had less. He wore somewhat of a better grade of clothes and he was even allowed to wander about the entire plantation and even in the massa house, with little questioning or even being harassed. So, one might ask, “Rico, do you feel this way about all black preachers today?” Well, if he/she is currently teaching out of the very book (Bible, which is missing several books) that has kept us enslaved mentally for over 500 years in this country and afraid to stand up against white supremacy and white racism then yes. I feel this way. I don’t trust any Negro preacher who does not believe nor teach an Afrikan-centered doctrine. Rev. Jeremiah Right teaches and African-centered doctrine. Malcolm X taught an Afrikan-centered doctrine. Noble Drew Ali taught and Afrikan-centered doctrine. I even like the doctrine of the Honorable Minister Farrakhan and Elijah Muhammad. If your Negro preacher isn’t teaching this way, he is teaching you to be a religious, self-hating slave to white supremacy.


So, some of the preachers have a problem with the President’s statement on gay marriage. A lot of us have a problem with the President’s statement on gay marriage based supposedly on what the Bible says about marriage. I will say this. I find it most interesting that some of these jack-legged preachers and silly religious Blacks have such a problem with the ‘gay issue” on a national level, but locally (or within their very own churches) they are silent. These very same objectors of gay marriage on a national level sit up in church every Sunday with a gay choir director, a gay organist, a gay preacher, a gay deacon, and even gay male or female couples. I guess it is ok for them to be gay all up in the church on Sunday morning as long as they pay their weekly lay-away-plan to heaven that most folks refer to as tithing. If you all are so concerned and are supposedly do in-tuned with what the Bible supposedly says about anything, maybe many of you should read in the Bible somewhere where it talks about healthy living and eating a healthy diet and not having all of these damn children out of wedlock! Yes. I said it!


Also, whenever something “jumps off” racially or politically in the Black community, the Negro preacher is always called to either calm the storm of Black anger or fan the flames of confusion. In this situation concerning the President’s supportive statement on gay marriages, these Negro preachers have been “called” to step out front to further fan the flames of confusion. Don’t be misled by these charlatans. They are on the pay roll. Gays wanting to marry should not even be allowed to serve as diversion to what we really need to be concerned about in the Black community. Do I need to go down the list of issues that need to be addressed? Hey, let them get married and let them get divorced like the rest of us. Oh. Yes. Gays get divorced too. Ask Ellen DeGeneres. Ask Rosie O’Donnell. Ask Melissa Etheridge. This list of gays to ask about falling out of love with their partner and getting divorced is long.


Black people, don’t get caught up in the biblical nonsense about a marriage supposedly being only for a man and a woman. Hell, based on statistics, straight men, straight women, and gays don’t really seem to care that much about marriage, especially in the Black community. What Black people should be doing is coming together to build up our communities, supporting each other economically, and raising the children that we decide to give birth to with or without a spouse.


In closing, I did not write this article in support of President Obama or the gay community. I wrote this article with hopes of bringing some semblance of clarity to people who may have gotten off track or who may have been distracted from the real issues. If you are an Obama supporter don’t get sidetracked with silly issues like gay marriage or gay rights. By the way, what exactly in the hell are gay rights? Don’t allow a paid spokes persons for white supremacy such as a damn preacher to speak for you. Do your own reading and research.

The Disappearance of Black formatted radio

Earlier this week, we were stunned with the news of Tom Joyner and Michael Baisden being taken off of the radio in New York. These two radio shows reached the largest listening block of African Americans in this country. These two shows educated the masses during a many political elections and sounded the alarm nationally for injustices like the Jena 6 racial incident and the most recent, the Trayvon Martin murder in Florida. Even though these two shows are still operating strong in other markets across the country, New York was really major. A little over a year ago, Michael Baisden was taken off the air here in Dallas when the station he was on changed formats. They went from current RnB and soul to old school RnB classics only.


So, what does this mean? Any thoughts? Well, it all sounds political to me. Whenever national elections, particularly the election of a congress, senate and the president come around, you will notice the right wing conservatives becoming very busy with silencing the voices and rights of minorities in this country. Have any of you been keeping up with the republican push to force everyone to have a state id present with their voter’s registration card on election day? Have you heard where states like Texas are trying to force college students from out of state (which will mainly affect the HBCU attending students in Texas) to go back to their home state to change their voter registration to Texas before they can vote in an election when this has never been the case? When I voted at in elections in the town of Grambling back in the day all I needed was my college id card. Texas republicans are working to change this policy to make it more difficult for Blacks and minorities to vote in state and national elections. It is called the republican voter suppression movement and it is definitely coming to a state near you.


THEY (Conservative Right-wing Republicans) don’t want to see Barack Obama re-elected as president in November. So, they are not playing any games or taking any short cuts. Politics is a dirty game. Next, you have the dumbing down of a people through the use of the media. Black talk radio in the past used to be the voice of the people. Now, it has become the voice of prank calls, a mad minute, coonery, buffoonery, sambo-ism, a man mimicking an old black woman reading church announcements, condescension towards callers, crude jokes, celebrity butt-kissing, along with forced, loud, over the top laugher with a gospel song being played in the midst of porno-graphic rap and RnB music.


Frankly, if “they” were to remove all of the current national black formatted early morning shows or afternoon drive shows, I would not care. Well, I would want to leave Tom Joyner because he does use his foundation and his celebrity status to support Historically Black Colleges and Universities and Black students. Michael Baiseden has become watered down over the past few years, but he does allow you to call in and shout your small business out. So, I would vote to keep him on with a few conditions. The main one I would have is for to stop his constant promotion of interracial dating between blacks and whites. I wish he concentrated more on the rebuilding of the Black family. He has never tried to bring white Jewish women and Palestinian men together on his or Nazi skin head men.


As far as Rickey Smiley and Steve Harvey…I don’t think that they should be removed completely from the airwaves all together. I think that they should just be moved over to satellite radio. So, for those who want to hear their brand of talk, they can pay a monthly subscription. It seems that all of the talk radio shows that we have are hosted by comedians, which is perfect for dumbing down a people. Comedians are non-threatening and people don’t take court jesters, fools, and comedians seriously. Well, what this really means is if Black people really want serious talk and real news from the radio, people like me will have to create our own media source that cannot be dedicated by the powers that want us to remain ignorant and laughing all of the damn time. However, for those in the Black community who want real radio, you must support it with not only your listenership, but with your finances as well. I am just saying.


You see, while we are busy laughing, the racial clock is being turn back. I wonder if the republican forces are going to go after the Yolanda Adams Morning Show or the Donnie McClurkin radio show. I doubt it. These are Christian/religious formatted radio/talk shows. Next to that laughing Black person, the religious Black person is even more non-threatening to the current republican  power structure.

Steve Harvey is at it again. He says “women should not date men who don’t believe in God.” “Those who don’t believe in God are idiots”

Steve Harvey is at it again. He says “women should not date men who don’t believe in God.” “Those who don’t believe in God are idiots”
First of all. Black women rarely ever don't Black men who don't believe in God. One of the first things that they ask a man on the first is “What church do you belong to?” This question has ended a many dates for me personally. It has even gotten to the point where I have serious considered even moving out of the south or checking the internet for dating website that primarily features slender black women, with their own hair (that is not chemically processed) and who are non-religious. Now, these same Black women date men of other races who don't believe in God, don’t have a religion, and who don't go to church. You see. Black men are held to a "PERFECT" and a "NO NONSENSE" standard while other men just have to be white, Asian, Mexican, rich, etc.

Next, Jesus is not God. God is God. ALL INTELLIGENT PEOPLE WITH GOOD COMMON SENSE and a LIBRARY in their neighborhood know that one does not have to be a part of a religion or belong to a damn church to have a belief in a higher power, the Creator, the Most High, and even God. It’s whatever adjective you choose to describe your Higher Power. So, having said this, the men that seem to be giving all these women the blues are the guys who actually go to church and have a religion. Atheists, Agnostics, and people like me, Spiritualists, are not out here pimpin’ women, lying to them, impregnating them and leaving them and the seed he helped to created behind to move on to the next conquest or having sex with other women and men (the down low-brothaz) outside of the relationships.

So, Steve Harvey all those brainless Harvey-ites need to get their minds and their information right. Maybe these sistaz should give the non-church going, so-called non-believing Black men a chance at romance. They just may run across the man of their dreams and stop living in dream-land. Hell, I figured if these same sistaz can date and have children by thugs who don’t pay child support, they should not have a problem with dating an atheist, agnostic, or a non church-attending spiritualist. At least these groups of black men have jobs, education, and no record of criminal activity in their lives. Well, most of us. LOL!! 

Did you know Steve Cokely?

I know was supposed to do a piece this week on the Steve Harvey movie, “Act Like a Lady-Think Like a Man.” However, something way more pressing has happened and so I decided to place the movie review on hold until later to say goodbye to a real modern day revolutionary and a seeker of truth, Brotha Steve Cokely. It has been reported all over the internet that the man who earned the nick name, “Boule’ Buster” has died. He passed way on April 11th of congestive heart failure (allegedly).


I was introduced to Steve Cokely and his pursuit of the truth back in the day at Grambling State University when he was brought on to our campus with funds that were raised by the African-centered and conscious students and without the help of the SGA and any Black Greek organization on campus. It was then that my eyes were opened to what white supremacy is and what it was all about along with the actual hidden history and agenda of the Black Boule,’ (boo-lay) the history of the Rothschild family, and the long time agenda of the Trilateral Commission.  Steve Cokely was also the man who brought light to the actual plot and eventually the murder of Dr. Martin Luther King. He also provided video footage and names of the Black folks who played a major role in the murder of Dr. King like Jessie Jackson, Maxine Smith, Vernon Smith, and Reverend Samuel Billy Kyles.

This man traveled the country in fear of his life for years to deliver the message of truth to any black people who would listen. He was not rich. He was not a celebrity. He was a man who did the research, found the hidden truth, and attempted to share this research with all who would listen. I am so glad that I was one of those persons smart enough to have been enlightened by the brotha’s research. He stood on the shoulders of giants in his quest for knowledge such as Dr. Ben Jochanan, Ivan Van Sertima, Amos Wilson, Anthony Browder, etc. The Black community has a lost one of its best and the bravest researchers and scholars. I just wish that we as a community and as a race would embrace brothas and sistas who dare speak truth to power not only with our loving arms, but with our wallets and purses.


We don’t think twice about lovingly and financially supporting comedians who write silly books on relationships, athletes who push over priced tennis shoes, or homosexuals who design expensive (over charged) clothing lines and apparels. However, when it comes to a brother like a Steve Cokely who literally gave his life to doing the research and sharing it with us, we don’t seem to be as generous. As a matter of fact, we are get angry at men and women like him for telling us about the true nature of white folks and their supremacist psychology, the truth about the black church, the black fraternity, the black sorority, the negro preacher, or the so-called Talented 10th.

Yes. I whenever I went to hear Steve Cokely speak I bought a CD, a DVD, or both. I know it was hard to do what he did when he was alive. I know it continues to be difficult for many of our aging Afrikan-centered scholars who are still trying to teach black folks about who they are and what is needed to be done to save our lives under the system of White Supremacy. I salute you Ashra Kwesi, Dr. Raymond Winbush, Dr. Francess Cress Welsing, Dr. Joy Leary, Bro. Neely Fuller, M’Bwebe Ishangi and many others who are still in the fight.


I will end this by saying thank you, Bro. Steve Cokely for being there to help wake me up and to start me on the road to gaining more knowledge about the hidden truths when it comes to the society I was born into. You were not a conspiracy theorist as many have described your work to be. A theory can be debated. What you uncovered can never be debated. RIP Brotha!!!

http://www.stevecokely.com/

http://www.daghettotymz.com/

The issues WE are having with Black Love is not a laughing matter, Steve Harvey.

The Steve Harvey best selling book, “Act Like a Lady-Think Like a Man,” has been made into a movie and it will be hitting the theaters on next weekend (April 20th) and I plan to be in a theater seat somewhere that night or maybe on Saturday night with or without a date. When I want to actually hear a movie and gain some understanding, I tend to go alone the first time. Anyway, I read the book about two years or so ago. I plan to re-read it before I go to see the movie. If anyone would like a copy of the entire book, I can email a copy to you as an attachment. Just email me at talktorico@hotmail.com to make the request and I will get it right to you.


When I read the book in its entirety, I was left with the feeling of dejavu. I could have sworn that I had heard the messages in his book before, but with an actual spiritual and cultural connection to them. Then it hit me. Ahh! I had already been exposed knowledge-wise to the reasons why not only Black men and Black women, but the Black family in general has been torn apart and can’t seem to get it back together in this day and time. I remember reading the books by Anthony Browder, Dr. Francess Cress Welsing, Del Jones, Dr. Naim Akbar, Haki Madubuti, Dr. Ben Jochannan, Drs. Nathan and Julia Hare, Amos Wilson, Brother Neely Fuller, Dr. Joy Leary, The Slave Narratives, and even the Willie Lynch Letter. I have even been exposed to lectures by, Dr. Julia Hare, Dr. Joy Leary, Dr. Francess Cress-Welsing, Min. Louis Farrakhan, Ashra Kwesi , Dr. Raymond Winbush, Dr. Ben, and the list goes on and on.

Steve Harvey, a comedian, did not teach me anything that I did not already know about Black relationships and why WE as black people can’t seem to get it together. However, by him (not being) any of the great scholars of Afrikan/Afrikan-American culture and racism/white supremacy that I have been exposed to, he was able to get his message to the masses of our people with his comedic version of why so many Black women today (who say that they want to be in a committed relationship with a Black man) can’t seem to attract a Black man that wants to be committed to them personally and/or individually. I also walked away from the book knowing full well that even though Steve Harvey “broke it down” to the lowest common denominator, a lot of these so-called independent Black women still won’t get it. Simply put, too many Black women today think and act like men and less than a lady. They are too hardheaded and ego-driven like so many men today.

Personally, I have never met an actual good Black woman who does not already have a good Black man or is not already married to a good Black man. Everybody else must be claiming to be good Black women because it must be popular or designer to refer or describe one’s self as such. Anyway, after we have finished laughing next weekend about our obvious failure to communicate what we want in a relationship and how unrealistic we can be when we place certain expectations on others in order for them to be the perfect mate, maybe then we will go back to the days of when our grandparents dated, got married and raised healthy loving families. Maybe if more Black women today would stop listening to comedians and man-hating Black authors of biased relationship books and listen more to Afrikan scholars like Dr. Julia Hare, Dr. Joy Leary, Dr. Francess Cress Welsing, and Dr. Ben, maybe you will actually learn something not only about what makes Black men tick, but also learn something about yourselves as Black women. Hey, if this suggestion is ‘too black’ or ‘too deep’ for some of you, then how about asking your grandmother how she kept your grandfather for 40 years by “Thinking and Acting Like a WOMAN!”


After this weekend we should all make a vow not to allow or our racial struggles to be made into joke, by way of a bestselling book, news documentary on the major television networks and a movie at the theaters. After the movie next weekend, I will be open to any and all invitations to have a civilized discussion with men’s groups, women’s groups, singles’ groups, or combined groups in the Dallas/Fort Worth area. If your group is outside of the DFW area, we can talk about that too. Our relationships and/or lack thereof are no laughing matter.

A Message to Black People: “Oprah wants to talk to you, now.”

Today is Easter and I am sure that some of you were waiting for my perspective on the mythical, pagan holiday that has nothing to do with Afrikans, Black folks in America, egg laying rabbits, and a supposed resurrection of a floating, blonde-haired, blued-eyed magician with the Spanish name, Jesus (Hay-soos). Not this year. I figured that in 2012, if people are still believing and celebrating this foolishness the same way it was presented to us by folks who don’t love us and who don’t look like us, my talking about it today would only be in vain. So, to all of the adults in 2012 that still believe in this Greek mythology and you are still passing this insanity on to your children, Happy Easter! May the Creator (God) one day touch your brain with wisdom, knowledge, and some common damn sense. At least point you in the direction of a library.




Ok. Now on to Oprah and her sudden change of heart about Black people. I was driving to work about a couple of weeks ago with the radio on full blast. I was doing my usual channel switching from The Rickey Smiley Morning to the Tom Joyner Morning Show, to the Steve Harvey Morning and on to a rap station, a pop station, and then an AM soul/talk station. Well, during one of my final switches to the Steve Harvey Show, I got the biggest surprise of the morning. Oprah Winfrey was being interviewed on his show. I damned near pulled over to the side of the road in shock. I could not believe what I was hearing. I remember saying to myself, “Oprah Winfrey on a black formatted radio show?” “Really?” She was on there juststa yackin’ it up as if she had always frequented a black formatted radio show. I mean, she used her very contrived, concocted little black vernacular and everything. She even used this interview to voice her thoughts on the Trayvon Martin case, which has been rebroadcasted all over the country and maybe the world. That was certainly a good look for Steve Harvey’s morning show. I guess after she hits up the rest of the Black formatted radio shows, it’s off to BET’s 106 & Park.

Prior to Oprah’s visit to the Steve Harvey Morning Show, I had heard on the Tom Joyner Morning Show, the news of her OWN network not meeting the projected expectations when she signed the deal to buy the cable channel from the previous owners of the Discovery Channel. Meaning, the OWN channel was not getting the projected viewer numbers/ratings she and her partners were hoping for. After, I heard it on the Tom Joyner Show, I saw an article on the internet that spoke more into detail about what’s really going on at the OWN network. Let me say this. When Oprah debuted the OWN channel last year with the line-up of shows that she presented, I knew damned well that she was not targeting people who looked like me. There were so few Black faces on her network that it looked like her canceled talk show.



For 25 years, Oprah made sure that her talk show catered to a particular group of people which mainly consisted of  average, unattractive, white females and some ‘sistas’ that felt the need to tag along. Since she ended her show, it seems that this demographic has abandoned her. I guess they were cool with Oprah as long as she concentrated her talk show on making them feel pretty and secure. However, when Oprah decided to flex her media and economic muscles a little more, not only did these homely white women take notice, America took notice. You see. Racism these days can be quiet and can be very loud. Oprah was safe and cool when she only had her talk show and the "approved formula" she used every day. It was even ok for to amass a billion dollar fortune as long as she kept up the formula. But, when Oprah decided to test the formula and even push the envelope just a little bit under the guise of the so-called American dream, it looks like the demographic she catered to so lovingly and strategically as well as the rest of America, quietly stepped back and you have not heard a word from them since she purchased the network. To make her situation worse, she had the audacity to flaunt her success in their faces by calling the network OWN. Can I take you all on a little history journey for a minute? WE (Black folks) were not brought here to be owners. We were brought here to work and be humble servants under the system of white supremacy. Get it?



When you start off working to appease white supremacy, white superiority in order gain economic, religious, political success, you leave behind all that you are which includes your race and your Afrikan-ness. Yes. She looks Black, but that’s it. Oprah understood what it took and how to get that level of success under white supremacy. She understood that what she saw in the mirror (A black woman) could not mirror any philosophy that may spew from her mouth. Oprah, like so many other Blacks today and the ones that came before her that desired that level of economic success, signed willingly in blood on the dotted line. So, Oprah for years, acted like the most conservative republican when it came to Black folks. She, just like the conservative republican, took the black dollar and existence of Black people for granted. So, now that she has seemingly been abandoned by the people she catered to for so many years, she is making her way back ‘ home’ to save her fledgling network. Guess what. We are going to be more than happy to save a wretch like her. WE are just a forgiving people that way. Well, sometimes we take the forgiving part of us too far like in the R. Kelly case. What’s really going on?

I find it to be so ironic that when Oprah had to finally make budget cuts at her network by firing a lot of those whites and Jews she had working for her as executives as well as cancel a lot of the white programs including the Rosie O’Donnell Show, one of the only shows that stood on its own and continues to get great ratings for the OWN network is a black reality show that features a family that owns soul food restaurant called “Welcome to Sweetie Pie’s.” So, Oprah will be having Bishop T.D. Jakes on her network tonight as she continues on her campaign to woo Black people to her network. Hmmm, this ass kissing that she is currently doing to get us to tune in to her network may actually yield some positive results for us. Hey Oprah, you think you can build and fund a few private African-centered leadership academies/schools for Black males in Memphis, Dallas, Chicago, and Newark? How about some media exposure on a monthly basis for some of the fledgling historically black colleges and universities?


There is a lesson to be learned in this whole Oprah running back home to the Black community to save her ass. If you stayed true to who you are in the very beginning, you won’t ever have to become fake or feel that you have to cater completely to white folks for whatever your desired success is in this country, therefore loosing yourself and your connection with your people in the process. I guess if you never had or were never educated on the knowledge of your Afrikan self in the first place, trading or selling off your semblance of Blackness becomes an easy and one might say a natural process.

The Grieving Process: I am concern about how Black men handle this.

It has been 16 years since I graduated from Grambling State University with a masters degree in social work with a concentration in health and mental health. In these many years, I have worked in various capacities. I have worked in group homes, a foster care agency, in an in-patient residential substance abuse program as well as out-patient mental health agencies. I have worked as an alcohol and drug counselor and a mental health therapist. I have even worked as a family counselor. My social work degree has taken me all over the place I guess. I mentioned all of this because the one area of my professional experience that I deem most important and even most valuable is whenever I got the chance to work exclusively with Black men and Black boys, which was very and still is very rare. I always felt that I needed to be where this population is, but without having to go into the prisons or juvenile lock-ups. I have issues with going to those places to try to reach what I perceive as the unreachable.

Anyway, I am always concerned about the mental health of Black men and Black boys. I am concerned about black women and girls as well. As a matter of fact, I currently work in an in-patient residential program that only services women with mental as well as substance addiction issues. It is often referred to as having a co-occurring disorder or being dually diagnosed. Even though I go to work every day and give the women all that I have professionally in my psycho-education groups, I can’t help be feel as if I should also be somewhere else sharing this much needed knowledge to Black men who may not be getting this elsewhere. Also, mental health services are not made as available to Black men as it is to women. Moreover, a lot of Black boys are raised to believe that counseling is a cuss word or that counseling is for crazy people. To many black males going to counseling for grief/loss and anger is not a very manly thing to do, therefore counseling is not an option for helping in the grieving process and anger is something they can control on their own.



In the past three weeks, I have had two personal friends of mine in Memphis to suffer tremendous losses. One of the friends lost his mother to cancer two weeks ago. My other friend lost his one and only brother to Lou Gehrig’s disease. Today, another friend of mine who lives in Houston is trying to make sense out of the death of a very close friend of his. He is really heartbroken over the loss. So far, he is doing very well. He is reaching out and allowing others to help him during this grieving process. I was glad that I was able to be there for both of my friends in Memphis, with all that I know about grief and loss, to help them through the grieving process. Not only help them, but to give them a healthier way to view the grief and loss of a loved one. Y’all, Black men do cry when they are sad. Our hearts hurt when we lose a loved one to violence or a deadly disease.


These are two Black men that I was able to reach on a personal level. I am often concerned about the ones I can’t reach because so many are “not into” counseling to get past grief and loss, anger, rejection/abandonment issues, or depression. So, as of last Friday, I mailed off a form to the office of the Secretary of State here in Texas to form a non-profit organization that will allow me to focus on the mental health of Black and minority males. I would like offer free counseling sessions to Black men and boys who may not feel comfortable with sharing their feelings and issues with a female counselor or counselors of another race/ethnicity.



When I am facilitating psycho education groups at work on grief and loss, I tell the women this:

“We need to change the way we view death. Death is a part of living.” As surely as we are living, we are going to die. In the case of losing a loved one, it is perfectly ok to feel sadness, anger, disbelief, and even denial. These are phases in the grieving process. The key to it all is to allow the process to take its natural course so you can move on with your life. I am not saying that it will be an easy process, but it is a process that you must allow to take its course. You see. Many of us take death and the grieving process to the extreme. Meaning, we shut down. We stop taking care of ourselves. We stop going to work knowing damn well we need our jobs to pay our bills. Some of us even stop caring for our children if we have them. Many of us just stop living all together.



It is time out for these same old traditional reactions to people who die in our lives. For example, when a loved one passes, that does not mean my going out and drinking a gallon of liquor, smoking a blunt or hitting a crack pipe because the emotions are too overwhelming or you feel as if you are paying tribute somehow to the deceased by possibly killing yourself or ruining your life. That is not the way to pay tribute to the deceased. You pay tribute to the diseased by carrying on with your life and doing what they would have wanted you to do. Usually this means having a good life and being happy. I have yet to read or hear where the last words of a deceased loved one was, “Go out and fuck life you life up in remembrance of me.”



So, the way we can best handle this is to remember the fun times and loving times you had before the person died. If the last words that you spoke to the person were not so loving, still remember the good times. The death itself is not for you. The death itself is for person who dies. The memories are for you. The times you spent together are for you. The plans if any that you had for the deceased are now your plans to carry out if you choose to do so with the warm memories of the person in your life who has died. You see. Someone dying in our lives is suppose to be used to not only teach us, but also remind us of how precious living is and how important it is not to waste a single day of living. It teaches us that being able wake up every day to improve our lives and make a positive impact on the lives of others is a blessing in itself. If the person who has died in your life has positively impacted your life so much that you find yourself in so much grief, you were really one of the blessed ones because the happiness that awaits you upon the ending of your grieving process is going to be so wonderful that you will find yourself smiling and wondering to yourself, “Damn. Why didn’t I get to this place sooner?”"

The Trayvon Martin Case is just a another hint to Black folks about the need for Black Solidarity/Unity.

March 25, 2012



I read a caption on the internet this week that went like this, “Trayvon Martin Death Galvanizing a Nation.” My first thought or question to myself was, “What nation?” Of course, the assumption was this country. Maybe I have been missing it in the news, but has anyone heard a white, Hispanic, Jewish, Asian or even a homosexual national or local radio talk show host besides black radio talk show hosts such as Steve Harvey, Rickey Smiley, Tom Joiner, and Michael Baisden get on the air and declare justice be done in this Trayvon Martin case? I know about all of the news media outlets covering the story because it’s in the headlines. However, where are the young white college kids across America? Where is LULAC)? (League of United Latin American Citizen) Where is AACR (Asian American Civil Rights Movement) Where are the Anti-Defamation League, Jewish Defense League, Sons and Daughters of the Confederacy, the national LGBT organizations, and the various women’s’ leagues/organizations in this country? Meaning, where is all of America and not just Black America in this cause?


Personally, I think the ‘hoodie movement’ is stupid. Don’t you ever get tired of symbolism instead of justice? When the young gay man jumped off the George Washington Bridge for being ‘outted’ by his college roommate via webcam at Rutgers University two years ago, justice was swift. A cyber bullying movement took place, laws have been inacted and gays are now protected. What in hell will wearing a hooded sweatshirt do spark protection for Black males against rogue killers like Zimmerman, the public school system in this country, the criminal justice system in this country, the national hate for black boys, and growing hate for black men by black women? The solution is not a damn hoodie movement! It is black solidarity! As long as blacks continue to lack racial unity, the killing of Black people by whites/ and coconut Hispanics and the killing of black people by other black people will CONTINUE.


This little movement is cute. But comes nowhere close to what really needs to happen. Of course, RACISM is at the root of this crime. However, in my opinion, black disunity is the bigger crime here. By the way. It is more than ok for blacks to unite for the purpose of nurturing, educating, marrying, and loving their own. This cultural norm and strategy has served as an excellent political and economic power base for whites, white Jews, ethnic Jews, Hispanics, Asians, Italians, and every other racial/ethnic group in this country. Hell, even the gay community has solidarity and is making things happen. But this has yet to happen with black people.


Maybe one day we will stop all of this damn marching and actually “get on the move” to really honor the life of Trayvon Martin as well as the millions of black lives lost because of racism/white supremacy with actual black solidarity and much needed black love. Now, before anybody reading this post gets nervous at the thought of black unity. Let me say this. A lot of white people and many blacks who have chosen interracial dating, marrying, and creating children with whites as a psychological strategy in order to survive under racism/white supremacy (in other words "if you can't be em', join em") that may be reading this post will certainly interpret my words as to mean to hate white people, therefore, conjuring up white insecurity and negro fear and anxiety. This fear and anxiety will then cause them to lash out at me. I will then be labeled a race divider and THE sole person who is preventing the races from coming together as if George Washington and the rest of the slave owning fondling faggots of this country, Slave Codes, Jim CROW, J. Edgar Hoover, Bull Connor, Ronald Reagan, the KKK, and the Skin heads never existed. LOL! You know. The usual response when a strong, unafraid, intelligent black man truly speaks his mind about the reality we currently live in. Hey. I am just saying. Look. To hate Caucasians in 2012 is a waste of time and energy.


History has already proven and continues to prove to this day that any hatred towards white by a people of color is more than well deserved. But that energy can best be used to do something more constructive like finally beginning to learn from other races and cultures of color and what they did with all of their “hate energy” for white people. We (Black folks) should learn how they have historically dealt with and currently deal with white hate and white supremacy. It’s simple. They built a nation within a nation and became self-sustaining. WE HAVE YET TO DO THIS!

So, until this solidarity amongst OUR people takes place, we can look for many more Trayvon Martins, Emmitt Tills, and this continued genocide/assassination of black males in this country. Rest In Peace, little brotha, I wish we can do more in your death, but we are too afraid. Marching and begging Caesar for justice is all we are willing to do. We are still settling for crumbs instead of baking our own loaf of bread.

Cyber-Bullying? Yeah, Right?

I don’t know if you any of you have been keeping up with this case or not, but the headlines to the end of this case really disturbed me. You see. This bullying campaign that has been going on for a while now has gotten me somewhat perplexed and annoyed at the same time, if that’s even possible. I read the story about the 18 year old young man who attended Rutgers University that ended his life in 2010 by jumping off of the George Washington Bridge in New York and into the Hudson Rivers because he was exposed as being gay by his roommate who spied on him through a webcam in their dorm room kissing another man.

Here is a piece of the story that was reported by the Associated on Friday the 16th. “A New Jersey jury on Friday found former Rutgers freshman Dharun Ravi guilty of hate crime and invasion of privacy for using a webcam to spy on his college roommate kissing another man. Three days after the incident, the roommate jumped to his death. Ravi will be sentenced on May 21. He faces up to 10 years in jail and possible deportation back to India, where the 20-year-old was born before moving to the U.S. as a young boy, the Associated Press reports.”

A hate crime? Are you serious? Sentenced up to 10 years in jail? Are you serious? Deportation? Are you serious? This all reeks of a gay and homosexual political agenda at play. I am so sick of the whining. First of all, if Ravi is guilty of anything (in my opinion) it is playing too damn much. He is not at fault for a coward who took his own life because he was ASHAMED of what he was, which is a homosexual. The young man who killed himself because he was exposed for being gay is at fault for killing himself, not the young man, Ravi. The young gay man was obviously in the closet and the door just pulled open before he was ready to “come out” to the world. Hell, I hear so many gay people say that “coming out” is so liberating and such a weight lifted off of them when they either “come out” on their own or are “outed” by someone else, so what was this young man’s deal? I guess this young man wanted to stay in the closet a little while longer and just sneak around with his sexual preference.


I don’t think that this was a case of cyber bullying at all. I think it was a case of whatever was being done in the dark coming to the light. I think that this young man was following the script of so many other so-called proud gays. They hide in the closet until they reach a certain economic or social status in this country and then come out of the closet. Some examples being Rosie O’Donnell, Ellen, Latino singer Ricky Martin, and Wanda Sykes. I think that this whole cyber bullying campaign is a farce and is being used a front and a societal bully pull-pit for political and economic gains by the LGBT community and everyone who wants to get in on the massive cyber-bullying funding for their non-profit organization. It looks like almost every non-profit organization has some useless program to supposedly stop cyber bullying as the flagship of their particular organization’s list of social programs aimed at making society a better place. Baloney! I am not condoning the Ravi’s behavior in anyway, but Ray Charles can see that this whole sentencing situation is some bullcrap.


I think that the “Stop the bullying at school” and the “End Cyber bullying” campaigns have nothing to do with Black children, Latino children, and poor white children living in the ghettos of America. These campaigns, in my opinion, are for whites in suburbia and the LGBT community. When was the last time you heard a gay male being bullied at a “hood’ public school”? How about at a Historically Black College/University? When was the last time you read where a Black student went to his black high school or onto his Black college campus and shot up everybody? When was the last time you read or heard when the same media that’s giving coverage to this story, the national or local LGBT organization (s) and white suburbia gave a damn about anything that goes on the in the ghetto public schools of America?


I simply refuse to get on this emotionally driven bandwagon. I refuse to close my eyes to what is just so clear to me. Cyber-bullying can be handled the same way you handle someone who puts their hands on you at school. You stand up for yourself! If the bully at school is too big, you pick up a brick, stick, or bottle, lay his/her azz out, and then call relatives and friends to get involved. Next, for so-called cyber-bullying…you do the same thing. You video record the azz-whoopin’ you are giving him/her putting your business on blast without your permission. Then, you post that very azz-whoopin’ you gave him or her on face book, Twitter, and You Tube. Case closed!
In closing, parents stop feeding your child this non-sense (although very true) about the bully having low self-esteem and them hating themselves, which is why they lash out at others. Look. You are setting your child up to get his/her azz kicked. Teach them how to fight back, not be a therapist to a bully. Let a licensed therapist help them with their issue so your child want develop issues from getting their azz kicked at school or in life in general.

Stomp Wars Youth Steppin’ Competition 2012 in Dallas was Steppendous!

Stomp Wars Youth Steppin’ Competition 2012 in Dallas was Step-pendous!


Yes. I really enjoy being in the audience of my very first stomp wars youth competition last night. I enjoyed being around our youth in a fun-filled, energetic, positive atmosphere. It is not very often that the media portrays black youth in a positive light. Of course, I am not one who has ever allowed this American media to dictate me to what’s up with our youth. Anyway, the evening started off at a little after 5pm with a panel discussion on bullying, family values, the importance of education and the importance on being a leader. Let’s see. A 40 year old marine spoke about the importance of being a leader from a marine’s perspective. He was pretty cool. Very straight laced and stiff in his presentation, but the information was valuable. I think that the more than a thousand young people in attendance gained a lot from what he had to say.



The mayor of Dallas, an old white guy by the name of Mike Rawlins, spoke on family values. I know, right? LOL! I am still chuckling over that one. Ok, next your very own, crowned, Miss Texas spoke on bullying. She shared a couple of sad stories about two kids (obviously white) who committed suicide because of supposedly being bullied at school. There was a fourth person on the panel who was supposed to get up speak and on education and how one can make money the right way by way of getting a college education, which she did eventually after Miss Texas finally got off her bully pull-pit with her stories of how she met President Obama and how she plans to take her fight to congress to end bullying. Yes. She went on and on and on and on and on…….Well, you get the picture. I was just waiting for her tell the judges, I mean the youth in attendance just how if crowned Miss Bully America, she would bring about world peace. LOL! Man, it was torture.



During the question and answer period I told her and the audience what I thought about her bully proposal. I simple said. “I don’t get it.” “I grew up in the hood.” “There were gay students in our ‘hood’ schools, but I can’t recall any of them running home scared or committing suicide because they were made fun of because they were gay.” “The gay kids in my school, stood up for themselves.” You only made fun of them one time. That was it. “We all had to stand up to our bully if we had one.” “When I had a bully, I had a brother, cousins, sisters, a mother and friends to help handle that.” “We never had a long time bully.” “We took care of the bully right then and there!” As I was speaking, I could hear coming from the audience filled with youth and parents who currently live in the hoods of Dallas and Fort Worth, “That’s right!” “You said that!” “Me either!” “Uhh-Huhh,” which was quickly followed by a round of applause. I ended my comments by saying to Miss Texas, “I think your proposal is precious, but what’s up with the parenting these days?”


So, now the on to the competition. At 6:30pm the show got on the road. First, let me say this. It is true that I have not been a huge fan or admirer of so-called Black Greek lettered organizations in the past and for very good reasons. That is another totally different blog. However, I still feel the very same way about these organizations today. I knew back then that the steppin’ had nothing to do with Greekdom. It is all Afrikan baby! The rhythms, the calculated movements, the timing and the soul came from a great people. This is how I was able to even attend and enjoy the Greek show performances back then. I knew I was not witnessing Greeks on stage. I was witnessing Afrikan greatness on stage. Last night, I witnessed the same Afrikan greatness. Sadly, many of those high school kids on stage will go off to college to pledge a Black Greek organization, to feel some semblance of their greatness when all they will have to do is read their history and learn that their greatness comes in a much larger portion than just a semblance.

Now, on to the stepping completion. The first all male act set the stage to what would become a night of action-packed stepping routines that were worthy of being compared to some of the great step-shows that I had the pleasure of witnessing while a student at Grambling State University back in the day. I could see the Alphas of 91’ 92’ and 93’ up there on stage. These young people had the very precision, style and the discipline of a college level step squad. I could see the 92’ and 93’ AKAs up there as well as the 92’ Zetas. These kids did there thing. I remember standing up to applaud and cheer for two of the acts that I thought were just awesome. I genuinely enjoyed seeing our young peoples’ stars shine so brightly last night. However, there were some unusual things that I did notice in the performances last night which was a common theme. First, there was the over dramatization used the speaking parts that each group did during their performances. The extra yelling and the wild jerking of head and shoulders as they would speak their lines kind of threw me for a loop. I don’t recall this drama being a part of a step routine back in college. Hey, maybe it’s the new thing in youth steppin’.


The second thing I noticed was the appearance of a requirement to have some length of hair. I mean even some of the boys had hair (hot iron pressed or locs) to thrust back and forth, which I guess was to add more accent to the movements on stage. Uhh, ok. I guess I can go along with that. While I am at it, I may as well add a third thing I noticed in the performances. There were quite a few, shall I say, ‘soft’ young brothaz on stage. They were good. They were entertaining. However, the impact of fatherlessness on single female headed households just kept going through my mind as I was sitting there checking out many of the performances. Anyway, I guess that’s neither here nor there. Wait. I heard boys in the audience yell up at the stage to other boys and girls who were performing, “You betta work!” I even heard a father who sat behind me say, “You better work, son!” Damn! It is like that now!? Can, presumably heterosexual boys and straight men can say, “You betta work!” to other boys and men? WOW!


Now, this is the action that was on stage. Look, if you ever want to hear some of the funniest comments from an audience or learn any new dances that are out among the youth today, last night at the step competition was the place to be. A deejay from one of the popular hip-hop stations here in Dallas was the music MC for the night. I got my ‘Dougie’ on. I did the south Dallas swag, and bobbed my head as I witnessed the many youngsters in the venue wrecking the place with dance moves that peeps over 40 (like me) should only just bob their heads in amusement. My knees or my back could not handle the very rapid, intense and fierce body movements that those kids displayed as the deejay played the best of their favorite songs between each step act. The music MC did pay tribute to us older heads in the audience with a few hits from back in the day from Frankie Beverly and Maze, BBD, and Doug E. Fresh just name a few.


I left the event feeling pretty good. I felt energized. I felt good about “the cause” even more so than usual. I left the event realizing that since moving to Dallas a little over three years ago, I have not been involved in any youth oriented causes. All I have done is chase a dollar during the week and a few skirts on the weekends since I have been here. When I lived in Memphis, I was always involved with the youth in my community because I knew the need and I saw the need every day. Last night helped me to realize that I can chase a dollar, chase a few skirts, and work with the youth here in Dallas, my new home. I know there is a need. I have seen the need. Now it is time to go where I am needed.


Many thanks to the Rock T. Youth Foundation, Rock T. and the supporters of such a wonderful cause for such an amazing event. I have been inspired to get involved right here in Dallas.

For information on the Rock T. Youth Foundation and Stomp Wars go to..

http://www.stompwars.com/

My thoughts on the Whitney Houston Funeral

Please allow me to first apologize to you, the reader for not posting an article last Sunday as promised. After watching the funeral, I needed a little more time to process what I spent four hours watching. I watched the entire funeral on television last weekend and I thought it was a nice ceremony. I loved Kim Burrell’s remixed rendition of the Sam Cooke classic, “A Change is Gonna Come.” I was even moved a little by R. Kelly’s performance of “I Look to You.” Hell, I was even tempted to stand on my feel when Tyler Perry was doing his thing at the podium. However, I must say that tears formed in my eyes as Bebe Winans sang the very song he had written and sung for his own brother who’d passed away previously. I was also moved by the way the pall-bearers carried Whitney’s body out of the church as “I’ll Always Love You” played in the background. Yes. I saw Ray J. jump up and place his hand on the coffin while sobbing uncontrollably as they carried her body outside of the church.


You know what? After the service was over, my brain’s computer clicked back on. My mental processor went to work overtime. First, Was it me or did you realize that the only two white men that got up to speak (Clive Davis and Kevin Costner), spoke well over 15 minutes a piece while everyone else (Black) spoke or sang up five minutes? Also, after suffering through the Kevin Costner rambling, it finally dawned on me. Kevin Costner and Whitney Houston had sex during the making of the Bodyguard movie. Let’s keep it real. Whitney could not act her way out of a paper bag at that time. She really did not do so hot in Waiting to Exhale. However, she was a far better actress than that damn Janet Jackson is today. Why would you postpone the making of a supposed major movie for an entire year for a non-acting pop singer? By the way, Kevin Costner has never been able to act. The movie actually sucked. It was corny, cliché-ish’ and the writing was horrible. Kevin Costner knew that Whitney’s star power at that time would bring people to the theaters. It worked to the tune of 500 million dollars worldwide


Kevin Costner has not had a major hit movie since the Bodyguard. Well, since Dances with Wolves in 1990 and that’s it! Now, Clive Davis is another story. There is something SINister about this dude. His eyes look scary. Clive Davis has had more black women protégé’s than than Thomas Jefferson. I mean, this dude is all over the place. He has had his hands in the pockets and possibly the panties of more black female artists than J.Edgar Hoover had dresses. Have any of you ever heard of the Brophemet Society in hollywood? You know, an alleged secret society of the illuminati that supposedly controls the entertainment industry, which includes the movies, Sports, Hip-hop, and Gospel, RnB, Rock and Pop music? Well, when you get a chance check out the videos on YouTube that talks about blood sacrifices and the rituals that allegedly occur in this supposed society.


There are so many celebrities who are supposedly involved in this alleged secret society. According to the videos, Clive Davis is at the top of the list as being one of the guys you must go to see in order to become big in the industry. A lot of those celebrities were at Whitney Houston’s funeral speaking and singing. Also, a lot of them are allegedly homosexual. When Kevin and Clive got up to speak, I thought about those videos and the information that they contain. Whitney’s death or murder and the funeral (according what you hear on the videos) was nothing more than a ritual burial of one of their own who had decided that she wanted out and could no longer go along with the foolishness of the industry. According to the videos, one cannot break the oath or tell the secrets of the industry once you are allowed inside. Tupac and Michael Jackson found out the hard way, allegedly.

Did you all know that according to the blood sacrifice videos, in order for an artist to gain the height of Whitney Houston’s success, Beyonce’s success and even Michael Jackson’s success, the artist allegedly makes a pledge or takes a secret oath to repay the society’s blessings with a blood sacrifice (family member, friend, or another artist) and/or participate in many of the Hollywood sexual ritual rituals (most of them homosexual in nature) to gain superstardom?


This is why I think that Kevin Costner and Clive Davis both had sex with Whitney. However, I think that Clive had sex with Whitney when she was a young teenager and Kevin had her in her twenties. I know that when I saw Jesse Jackson and R. Kelly’s nasty ass at the funeral, this was no ordinary funeral. It appears that we (the world) may have watched a satanic ritual burial and did not even know it. If this society is a real society in Hollywood, this would certainly explain a lot in my mind about why so many actors and other entertainers are either bi-sexual, gay, drug addicts and even severely depressed. This would also explain why when we have so many black millionaires in the entertainment industry, but they rarely speak out against the MANY injustices being committed against Black people in this country or even help to end the poverty and mis-education in the urban and inner cities where a lot us live. Hell, they are bound and gagged by some secret oath or a secret homosexual act not to do or say a damn thing or they will be exposed or even killed.


I guess I could be saying the same thing about Black greek  fraterities and Black greek sororities and their secret oaths and the members of the Black Boule’ (boo-lay) and their secret oaths but that is another article for another time. :)

Rest in Peace, Whitney Houston. It looks like you deserve the much needed rest.

These are just my thoughts on Whitney Houston

These are just my thoughts on Whitney Houston


Last night at around 7:30pm, I received a phone call from my mother telling me that Whitney Houston had died. I could hear in the shock and disbelief her voice. As she was telling me to turn onto CNN, I felt myself going into a kind of shock and disbelief. I was closest to my computer so I decided to log on to see what other news sources were reporting. It was true. The one and only Whitney Houston had indeed died in her hotel room at the Beverly Hilton. Friends on Face book almost immediately began sending out death notices and condolences to her family. I even created a post on my face book page expressing how dangerous drugs are to the family and to one’s body over a long period of use. I was saddened by the news, but not surprised. After, I posted the comment; I was reminded that I had plans for later in the evening to attend an Aquarius party at the House of Blues downtown. Needless to say, I did not make the event.

Instead, I went and sat in front of the television for a few hours and watched reports of her death and listened to the comments of the many celebrities who either knew Whitney Houston personally or who were just huge fans of her music and her iconic status. As the night wore on, I grabbed the rest of the Mexican food that I had left over from a small Mexican restaurant where I had, eaten lunch earlier. By the way, this restaurant is not fancy, but the food is soooo good. Anyway, after falling asleep from watching the Whitney death reports and a couple of episodes of the Boondocks, I woke early this morning to log on to see what the world was saying about Whitney Houston’s death.

I went on a couple of news blog sites and even checked emails in hotmail account. Well, news keeps coming. This morning there is speculation that Whitney possibly died as a result of drowning in the bathtub at the hotel room she was staying in last night. The article stated that Bobbi Kristina was there screaming to be allowed in the room to see her mother as the paramedics tried to revive her. The report also alleges that Whitney supposedly took some prescription pills before getting in the tub. As I said, allegedly. Damn, this is true, it sounds similar to how RnB singer Gerald Levert allegedly died a few years back. Gerald reportedly accidentally mixed the wrong pill prescriptions and never woke back up. Pills that causes one to relax so deeply usually are referred to xanax, valium, etc (benzodiazepines). These are taking if one has anxiety, trouble sleeping, or is for some reason, jittery. These pills come with a warning to never take with alcohol. I am not saying that Whitney Houston did this. I am just sharing information.


Also, I read on a blog where some of the respondents where blaming Bobby Brown for Whitney’s drug addiction and troubles. Comments like, “If she had never met Bobby Brown Whitney would still be alive today” and “Whitney’s church upbringing is the cause for staying in a marriage that was obviously troubled for too long. She was trying to stay true to her faith and make her marriage work” were a part of the many responses. I say this. True. I do think that religion and church keep people, but especially women, in bad relationships and with bad men too damn long. Next, I don’t think that Bobby Brown is to blame for Whitney’s drug addiction. Bobby was a younger, bad boy when they met years ago. He was drinking and probably smoking weed when they met. Whitney was America’s sweetheart on television who came up in a strict church environment. By the way, Whitney was already drinking alcohol when they met. Also, if we are honest with ourselves about most preachers’ kids or most of the children who come from strict religious/church household, we already know that these children tend to go buck wild when they are introduced to what their religious upbringing tried to keep them from, which is the real world; the good, the bad and the ugly.


Many would say that Whitney actually met her match in Bobby Brown. However, when it comes to who is to blame for her addiction to drugs, we would love to point the finger at Bobby Brown who was also an addict/alcoholic, the dope man, even her mother Sissy Houston for possibly trying to make Whitney into this perfect Christian little girl and angelic woman. Sadly, we can only point the finger at Whitney for this one. I was one of the millions who was hoping that Whitney would make a major comeback with her voice. The CD she put out a couple of years ago was nice and even had a few hits on it. I actually liked the CD. My favorite songs on the CD were ‘I Look to You’, ‘I Never Knew My Own Strength,’ and ‘Million Dollar Bill.’ But, the song that made me cry whenever I heard it on the radio or especially when I heard her sing it live is a tossup between ‘I Look to You’ and ‘I Never Knew My Own Strength.’ Both of those songs move me a certain way even today because you can hear in her voice a woman who has been through some things and is glad that she was able to survive after all of the trials and tribulations she had endured to get back to some sense of civility in her life.

I will have to pick a time in the future when I will be able to listen to either one of those songs again because today is not the day. Even though Whitney had her much publicized issues with drugs and a troubled marriage, she did not leave us out. She gave us, her fans, some of the best music and singing that the world will ever know. I thank her so much for being the songstress, the diva, and the woman of pop and soul that she was to us, her fans and admirers. I hate she had to leave so soon. I did not know Whitney Houston, Michael Jackson, Etta James, Don Cornelius, and Vesta Williams personally, but the contributions they made to this world and its music, to the black community, touched me personally. My heart is saddened by Whitney’s passing, but my musical experiences have been enriched. Rest in Peace, Nippy. 

These are my thoughts on the Whitney Houston situation. As Forrest Gump would say and so eloquently, “That’s all I have to say about that.”

Don Cornelius: A World Renown Soul Icon who became a victim of “Sadness"

Don Cornelius: A World Renown Soul Icon who became a victim of “Sadness"
I used the word sadness because Don’s son, Tony Cornelius, used the word ‘sad’ on The Tom Joyner Morning this past Friday morning. When asked by Tom Joyner if his father was depressed about anything, Tony Cornelius said, “My father was not depressed, he was just sad.” Tony went on to say, “My father was hurting from frequent headaches. He survived a brain surgery in 1982 as a result of a brain aneurism.” Tony also said that he father was a very private man. He said that if there was anything ever wrong with his father, the family would not know right away because his father was not the kind of man who talked about things that were going in his life.

Maybe Tony Cornelius used the word ‘sad’ to describe his father’s mood because the word ‘depressed’ carries with it a stigma of being labeled mentally ill or less than being manly. Or maybe his son does not know the symptoms of depression. Well, as a survivor of chronic depression, this whole scenario up the eventual suicide has depression written all over it. You see. One can have money, fame, and even a loving family and still get depressed. According to the latest statistics 92% of Black men with depression DO NOT seek therapy or counseling. Also, black men have surpassed black women and other races in suicide. I battled depression for three years straight (1996-1999). It took me almost killing myself in an automobile accident to finally get much needed help for my issues. Yes. I was drunk behind the wheel. Yes. For three years I medicated my “sadness” with alcohol. After, having gone to counseling, I was given a new lease on my life. Today, I don’t medicate any problems I may have with alcohol. I do have my melancholy moments or sad days, but nothing that calling a friend, going out on a date, or just picking up the phone and calling my mother just to say hello, won’t cure.


Since 2000, I have put my social work/therapeutic focus on the health and mental health of Black men and boys. I am working to do part in showing Black boys and Black men that WE TOO, ROCK. I am encouraging Black men to look at counseling and as an option and not a curse word. I want black men to become friends again and not be afraid to call each for support when we are feeling ‘sad.’ I want us to bond intellectually as well as athletically. I want us to realize that our female counterparts are outliving us because they talk to each other. They support each other in good and bad times. They share health tips. They uplift each other. As Black men, we can learn a thing or two from a Black woman’s book/guide on how to survive and remain emotionally and mentally healthy during unsure and trying times.



I felt a sense of loss at the news of Don Cornelius’s death and was really saddened that the cause of death was suicide. I feel really sad for his family because they have been left with so many questions of why. According to Tony, the answers to the why questions left with his father on that tragic Wednesday morning at 4:00am. Suicide becomes ‘the answer’ when we disallow other survival options to enter into our minds. When a depressed or sad person is heading down the path of suicide, doors are being closed mentally along the way. Meaning, as the depressed person becomes more and more depressed, he or she does not see many options or brighter days. Therefore, what’s the use in trying to solve a problem that cannot be fixed? This is when isolation becomes more and more prevalent. A lot of times when the family or friends finally decide to become more aggressive in reaching the depressed person or loved on, it is too late.
Don Cornelius, thank you so much for soul train. Thank you so much for your positive image. Thank you so much for showing the world that Black people are indeed a SOULful force to be reckoned with on this planet. I know wherever you are; it is definitely a stone gas! I am Rico Rivers and I am truly wishing you, Don Cornelius, Love, Peace and SOOOOUUUULLLLL!!!