Black Women Have Been Made Fools Of in this Society!

Fall 2005

I wrote this thought because I wanted to share not only a male's perspective on the topic, but a Black man's perspective. I am 36 years old, happily single, no children, college educated, professionally trained as a social worker/alcohol and drug therapist and an aspiring youth motivational speaker. I have never been on the criminal justice roll nor do I mistreat women. I date here and there when the spirit or my mojo hits me. I have the utmost respect for Black women and I truly believe that God sent them to the earth exclusively for me, a Black man. However, something has gone terribly wrong in the relationship department as it relates to Black men and women. I have heard all of the arguments, opinions, debates over cocktails, and even heard prayers that have been sent up to God for the explanation for why it appears that Black men and Black women have fallen out of love and have even become mortal enemies for the most part.

You see. I am concerned because I hope to seriously date and marry an Afrikan woman some day and have Afrikan children. Moreover, I hope to build a strong foundation with the right Afrikan woman in the future. Sadly, that future seems far away for me because of the state of confusion we seem to be in as a community. You see. We have many women scratching and clawing at Black men while many Black men are pimping and exploiting Black women. The rest of us are just who have been caught in the middle of this madness, are now running for emotional and spiritual cover due to feelings of uncertainty within the dating pools. I don't like being this way. I don't like seeing our people in this situation. I hate reading letters by Black women who say that good Black men are hard to find when I know that we are every where, even at the bus stop heading to work. Maybe if many of them would stop dating inmates on visitation day and sleeping with the whore-mongering preachers that have wives and even male lovers on the side, they would see us.

I think Black women in America have been sold a fake bill of goods when it comes to her Black men in the system we live under (racism/white supremacy). I want all of the independent, empowered, self assured, financially secured, but lonely, angry, and annoyed Black women to take a little trip with me for a moment in order that I may show her how she has been "played." I will keep this quick. Under the system of racism/white supremacy (Dr. Frances Cress Welsing-The Isis Papers) there is only one man-the white man. The rest of the men (which happen to be of color) are considered to be less than a man. This is his philosophy. Not only is this his philosophy, he created a system of laws to ensure this. According to the US Constitution and the Afrikan will never be equal to him under this system. So, for the past 445 years, since the days of physical slavery (Slave Codes) the days of Jim Crow (Segregation Laws) the Black male and Black female have been under attack.

I have always wondered what women meant whenever they would announce that they are empowered or independent because whenever they would say this, I would often wonder why was there a need for them to announce it to the world when they don't really seem to be happy or content. I don't recall any Black men in history who created laws that suppressed their rights as human beings. I don't recall any Black men in history who subjugated women to a lower class of people because of their gender. As I recall in American history we were both being subjugated, suppressed, and made to be and feel less than human in this country and across the globe.

The difference is the Black female of the past 20 years has been empowered not by God, but by the white male to be his second in command. Meaning, she has been empowered to be all that she can be systematically, while Black boys and Black men are still under direct attack. This has led to two occurrences: More Black men, in our struggle to be men, have been relegated to making a living or hustling out side of the system because there are so many steep stipulations that have been placed on our backs in order for us to be accepted in this system in the corporate and academic/scholastic sectors. It is as if we are being required to be "lady like" in order to be accepted. Unfortunately, quite a few of us "Black men" have been broken down emotionally and mentally beyond repair. The second occurrence is Black women have been empowered or conditioned by their white male and lesbian white female counterparts to take on the role as the "man" in this society and in her community, thus, creating confusion. You see. In every relationship, there is a masculine and a feminine aspect of the union.

According to this society, the man or masculine entity is usually the head of the house hold and a lot of times take the lead in the relationship. However, how can this be when the men are being systematically driven to take on the feminine role and women are being empowered to take on the masculine role? There are more Black women who make more money than Black men in this system of white male dominated and controlled economics. However, the white male continues to enjoy a wide gap in money earned over his white female counter part. He understands that in order for a man to head a house hold and be the bread winner, he has to earn a comfortable living. Thus, giving his woman the option to be a stay home wife/mom or obtain employment if she wants to. Strategically, Black men are not viewed as men in this system forcing him work twice as hard to economically sustain a wife and children.

When Black men were forced out of the home even on the plantation during chattel slavery, this left the female in a vulnerable position to fend for herself. She did what she had to do to maintain what was left of the family. Even today, the cycle continues. However, as empowered as most Black women claim to be, I don't understand why they don't know this history and understand it. Hell, Black women are in all aspects of society from corporate to government. They have been "allowed" to excel in all aspects of life instead of being relegated to a few careers like dancing, rapping, and sports. Black women are in positions of power, yet they are powerless in knowing how to regain their families and keep a man. Most Black women are harmless and are viewed as non-threatening conformists under this system. So, thinking that one day she will turn on the white male who empowered her for what he has done to her man is the farthest thought from my mind. However, I can't help but wonder if there are any Black women out there in the system who would even think about cracking the door open just a little to let a brother in.

These are a few of the many games that have been played on the psyche of Black people.
Dr. Jawanza Kunjufu wrote a four part series in his classic, "Countering the conspiracy to destroy Black Boys." Dr. Frances Cress Welsing also wrote a series of books that would explain why Black people have fallen out of love and how it was done. Also, Dr. Julia Hare has written books to explain how the Black family has been manipulated. The answer to why so many Black women say that they can't seem to find a "good Black man" is right in front of them.

Unfortunately, those same empowered, independent, "Blessed and Highly Favored" females don't read meaningful books. They have allowed fags like J.L. King, E. Lynn Harris, Tyler Perry, corporate white men, and angry, old, Black men-hating, fat women along with the women who marry obviously gay men, but claim they did not know later on after the fact upon hearing the whispers about him being gay to preach to them about Black men.

So, until we start realizing who the open enemy of the Black family is and will always be, some Black women will continue to ask stupid questions like, "Why can't I find a good Black Man?"

Can a woman do what a man does and still remain a "Lady?"

I was listening to an old school RnB song recently when I heard the statement, "A Woman can't do what a man does and still remain a lady." I thought this was a very profound statement coming from the female singer of the song. Currently, we are living in the days of the empowered and independent woman. I think both of these are great. I think it is cool that women or shall I say, "Sistas are doing it for themselves." As a man, I appreciate the today's female's earning potential. You see. This means that as an independent woman who may think she does not need a man because of the amount of money she makes or the socio-political strides she is making these days, I don't have to pick up the check at dinner. LOL !! Just playing, ladies. Well.....maybe not.

The race is still on for equality, which I think is cool too. However, I just want women of today to be prepared for the outcome or consequences once they sign up for a particular race against men.I will just skip the formalities and get straight to the point. Today’s women from age 18 to 58 are still attempting to compete with men in the bedroom. Meaning, women don't want to accept the double standard as it relates to sex. A man can sleep with as many women as he likes in his lifetime and still end up with a decent, wholesome woman that loves him and respects him as a man on his wedding day. If a woman is known to have slept with 5 men in five months, she is known as a tramp, easy, a slut, and even a whore. Now, I know this sucks, but it is the reality.

No self respecting man would seriously date and even mary a woman that has been ridden more times than a horse at a rodeo. A woman that has been labeled looser than shoe laces on a two year old has less of a chance of finding a decent and wholesome man to stand beside her on her wedding day. She would more than likely have to move out of her present city in order to get a fresh start at being looked at as a decent woman by unsuspecting suckers in her new city or state of residence.I would even go so far as to say that a man can have children and still end up with a good woman. A woman with two or more children out of wedlock is lucky to find any man that would look past the "evidence" of her trifling ways. These are not my words. I am just repeating public opinion.

A woman's stock drops after every child she has out of wedlock. So, it would be in her best interest to stop at one child if she plans to nab Mr. Right. Single women with more than one child usually end up with a lot of Mr. Right nows. There aren’t too many men out there that take these women seriously. However, the sex is off da chain!! They are usually prime candidates for a man's sexual release and enjoyment.A man with more than one woman or child is looked at by a lot of women as the man to snag. Women see him as having something special in his pants that they must discover and even attempt to conquer. It is sick, but it is a reality for many women. So, the question remains. Can a woman do what a man's does and still remain a lady?