Sunday, February 17, 2013
Can a woman do what a man does and still remain a "Lady?" (Article revised from 2005)
I was listening to an old school RnB song recently when I heard the statement, "A Woman can't do what a man does and still remain a lady." I thought this was a very profound statement coming from the female singer of the song. I am assuming that the artist in this song was referring to ceratin behaviors in the game of dating. Currently, we are living in the days of the empowered and independent woman. I happen to think that both of these accomplishments are great. I think that it is pretty cool that many of today’s women or shall I say, "Sistas” are doing it for themselves. As a modern man, I can appreciate today's female's earning potential. You see. This means that as an independent woman who may think she does not need a man because of the amount of money she makes or the socio-political strides she is making these days, I don't have to pick up the check at dinner. LOL!! Just playing, ladies. Well.....maybe not.
The race is still on for equality, which I think is cool too. However, I just want women of today to be prepared for the various outcomes and/or consequences once they sign up for a particular race against men. I will just skip the formalities and get straight to the point. Today’s women seemingly from age 18 to 50 are still attempting to compete with men in the bedroom. Meaning, women don't want to accept the double standard as it relates to sex. The societal perception these days is that a man can sleep with as many women as he likes in his lifetime and still end up with a decent, wholesome woman that loves him and respects him as a man on his wedding day. However, and sadly, if a woman is known to have slept with 5 men in five months, she is viewed as a tramp, easy, a slut, and even a whore. Now, I know this sucks, but it is the reality.
I am of the opinion that no real and self respecting man would “seriously date” and even marry a woman that it is known to have been ridden more times than a horse at a rodeo. According to some in society a woman that has been labeled “looser” than teeth in a five year old child’s mouth has less of a chance of finding a decent and wholesome man to seriously date her and even marry her. Many believe that this labeled woman would more than likely have to move out of her present city in order to get a fresh start at being looked at as a decent woman by unsuspecting men in her new city or new state of residence. However, on the side of the double standard coin, a man that has being labeled a gigolo or even a man ”hoe” can remain in his home city of residence and home state and still find, date and marry a decent woman. I would go so far as to say that a man can have multiple children and still end up with a good woman. However, this is behavior is changing somewhat, but there are still quite a few women out here who are not only with men who have multiple baby mothers, but they are helping him pay to off the child support he was court ordered to pay before they even met. However, woman with two or more children out of wedlock is considered to be “lucky” to find any man that would look past the "evidence" of her trifling ways. These are not my words. LOL! I am just repeating some public opinions. :)
Many people believe that a woman's stock drops after every child she has had out of wedlock. So, it would be in her best interest to stop at one child if she seriously has plans on nabbing Mr. Right some day. Some single women with more than one child usually end up with a lot of Mr. Right nows and more children. Some believe that there aren’t too many men out here that will take these women seriously. However, it has been reported that the sex with these particular women is off the chain!! Unfortunately, single mothers with multiple children are usually prime candidates for some men’s sexual release and enjoyment and that’s all. Strangely, a man with more than one woman or child is looked at by a lot of women today as the man to snag. I believe that some women see him as having something special in his pants that they must discover and even attempt to conquer. It is sick, but it is a reality for so many women out here. Man, double standards can be tiresome. I try not to feed into them. However, I do personally believe that some double standards when it comes to men and women are double standards for a good reason. I think that when it comes to a women being a lady, she should set the standard and not accept the stereotypes that are often placed on them. I think when it comes to a male being a man, he should set the standard and not follow pink and metro-sexual trends and fads.
Finally, I want to say that equality in economics, politics, beliefs, marriages, parenthood, etc should be shared by everyone. Equality usually means a little extra work and responsibility that must be adhered to be the person who or group who is fighting for such equality. Meaning, if there is a female who chooses to “publicly” ignore the double standard in the game of sexuality, just be prepared for the whispers and even some finger pointing. Hey, it just comes with the ultimate prize. Also, guys if you want to be equal in parenting in a marriage and even want to be viewed more favorably when it comes to child custody cases as a viable and very capable single parent, you will have to do what “responsible” and “organized” single mothers do every damn day, which is make various sacrifices for the welfare of the child.
One can easily say, “Let’s put an end to double standards right now!” But where would you start?