Saturday, January 21, 2012

A Letter from a son to his Religious mother.. "I have had it!"

I ran across this letter that was written by an adult son to his mother who is a minister at her church. It sounds like he has had enough of her using religion to control him and to make him feel guilty about not being a Christian. I loved the letter when I read it. I could not have spoken the words in the letter any more clearly if I were to address Black people as a whole about religion and Christianity. When I read the letter, I relived the freedom I first experienced when I first denounced religion and Christianity as a young man of 13 years old many years ago. It felt good. I felt a sense of independence when I walked away from the mental and emotional burden of organized religion.

Check out the letter below and let me know what you think.


You know that I love and respect you. I thought really long and hard about what you said to me last night. I have to be honest with myself. I have to be honest with you. I'm not buying it... I have lived under someone’s control my entire life. I have done what others told me to do my entire life. I have trusted people that I shouldn't have, just for them to flip the script on me. I'm really sick and tired of people using God as a crutch to control. I'm sick of people using God as a mechanism for fear. I'm sick of people using God to get the results that THEY actually want because they may not agree with your lifestyle. Everything I have done and not done has been because of God. When you want to live to your full potential, haters stop you and say God doesn't want you to do that. Anything involving control, staying poor, following a leader instead of being your own leader is what I get from these so-called Christians nowadays.

What equates a Christian? Acting a fool in church with your best suit on? Babbling in tongues with no interpreter? Gossiping with the "chuuch folk"? Wanting to be seen? Being effeminate? Let me tell you something. I'll respectfully pass on it. I've seen it all before. How many times do you think I've shouted and acted a fool JUST BECAUSE it got me the attention that I longed for from you and Dad??? Hmmmmmmm? No more! No more will I be afraid of idle threats that Christians throw at me. No more will I be hindered by bogus religious beliefs and fears! Black people are scarred by religious beliefs all the time! I'm just one who overcame my fear and decided to live.
No one will manipulate me again. No one will control me.

I don't trust the words of humans; I trust ONLY the words of God. If He ain't tellin' me Himself, then I ain't buying it. He is God after all, isn't he? Then why would He tell you something when He knows that I am diligent in my prayer? I get really wary when people tell me "God told me to tell you." I've heard many so called Christians say that, and it’s always been a deception of control revealed in the end. I AM NOT A CHRISTIAN. Just because a person calls themselves a Christian, doesn't mean that they fit the description.

People have forgotten how to be Christ-like. As far as Black Christians go, we are the most confused people on the planet. Don't believe me? Look at what's been going on in our Black Churches today. But I'm the one who’s wrong, and nothing is going to work for me until I "surrender?" I "surrendered" a long freaking time ago!!! How come it’s working for the snakes, perverts, money mongers and liars that I see in the pulpit? Pulpit pimps! All anybody says about that is "They'll have their day." I DON'T WANNA HEAR THAT B.S.!! I agree with you when say that people are waiting on me. They are waiting to hear how religion basically ruined and scarred my life. And I'm gonna make it known that you don't have to live in fear like I did my entire life. Living a big lie as if I'm just not good enough. NOW THAT'S A LIE FROM THE PIT!! I AM GOOD ENOUGH JUST THE WAY I AM! I know you may be angry, but I don't care.

It’s MY LIFE, and I spent a lot of time dedicating it to God, and for what? For people to continue to ASSUME, that I'm this big time sinner because I'm different? Because I believe in something different than the stuff that we were forced fed as children???? People always want more and more out of you, but never take the time to look at how far you've come already. Black folks, especially. "God said this, God said that" and have no freaking clue the torture and struggle that it took for you to improve to where you are, and that is a reproach! I'm not going to deal with it anymore or be controlled or enslaved by human words. It doesn't matter who it’s from.
The next time God gives you a message for me, you tell Him this for me, "You are the Lord our God. I believe you can do anything, including telling my son, Derek, yourself."

With love, (sorry Mom, you may be upset, but I'd rather deal with that than continue to lie to myself)

Your son. Pray for me...


John P. Burrows Jr. said...

Right On!! When you wake up you can't go back to sleep that bed don't feel good anymore.

Rico Rivers said...

Amen, brotha!